The Life You Always Knew
by ArabellaBlack25
Summary: AU. girl!Jax. She learns to put on a pleasing face and smile when needed. She wasn't going to be a Son, but the best she could hope for was an Old Lady, and Old Ladies can make or break a club.
1. Exposition

**disclaimer: I do not own anything. **

Exposition

Jacqueline was supposed to be a boy, she knew that much. She was supposed to grow up just like her father and become the heir to the club. She was supposed to be a prince – no, a god among men. She was supposed to sit at the head of the table, amongst the people she would call her brothers. She was supposed to be born with a dick rather than a pussy.

But she was only a girl. A five year old girl that was supposed to be an old lady and would never amount to anything else. That's all they saw when they laid their eyes on Jacqueline Teller, future old lady. She doesn't say anything about it or wonder out loud about the club's future for her because she is happiness and the light during the Sons early days. She is loved by her family, by the mother who braids her hair in the morning and the father that kisses her cheek, the stubs on his face scratching her skin, and the uncles that smell of whiskey and cigars.

Jackie is loved by many. The clubhouse is her home, her universe, and she doesn't say anything, despite knowing deep down, something was wrong.

* * *

Thomas Teller is born during a rather chilly day in California and Jackie hates him. Jackie hates how much he looks like their father more than her. She hates how everyone instantly praises him. She hates how he did something she could never do. She hates how he is the boy everybody has been waiting for.

Gemma Teller's face brightens up in a different way when Thomas is around. She smiles sweetly at Jackie, but around Tommy, it's different. It's more genuine.

She hates Tommy and she feels as though she has convinced herself of this, but then her father picks her up in his great arms and brings her to Tommy's room. She turns her head away and buries it in the crook of John Teller's neck.

'He reminds me of you when you were born,' said John, chuckling softly. 'Small wisps of hair and blue eyes.'

Jackie frowns at the comparison. She doesn't want to be like Tommy, she doesn't want to look like him. But curiosity has already built up inside of her and she turns to look at the spawn. Her body relaxes and John puts her down, next to the crib, next to the baby.

Jackie stares at him for a moment. Pale skin, icy blue eyes, and chubby fingers reacted out to touch her. She hesitantly sticks her finger out and he grabs a hold on, gurgling with delight. He has a strong grip and Jacqueline doesn't dare move an inch. An unfamiliar sense of love and protection flows through her body. She smiles back and thinks of only one word: _brother. _

'Tommy's a Teller isn't he?' said John. 'Strong willed, just like his sister. Got a set of lungs on him as well.'

Jackie smiles, though she doesn't look at her father. Her little brother is perfect and he could never hurt her.

* * *

In amidst of the happiness of the new son, Jackie manages to creep away without anyone noticing. She walks into the room she has only seen glances off. Gemma tells her not to go in there; that it was only for men and is was only their business. Jackie doesn't like her mother's rule, but she keeps her mouth shut, just like the good girl she was supposed to be.

There was only one light bulb in the whole room and the shined on the table in the middle of the room. She smiles at the entrance. The sense of breaking the rules – Gemma's rules – felt exhilarating. She takes a step forward, looking around just in case. When nothing happened to her, she continued to walk forward, the tips of her fingers treading along the cool surface. She then reached the head of the table and manages to pull herself up into the chair. She sits down comfortably, her legs crossed and the palm of her hands resting on the surface.

The Reaper was carved in the center of the wood, cigar clung to the room as well as cheap beer, but none of these passed through Jackie's mind. Her blue eyes scan the room; scan each chair in front of her, the chairs that were angled to where she was sitting. Her body tingled at the sensation. She felt… Jacqueline felt _powerful_.

* * *

Tommy Teller dies and the best of Jackie goes with him.

The funeral hurts her. Tommy is buried in the ground and all she wants is to go with him. She is forced to wear a dress. Jackie can't stand to be near her mother, nor her father. Instead, she stands next to Opie, who holds her hand in his own rough palms. She doesn't cry during the funeral, and she doesn't go to console Gemma when she is brought down to her knees, weeping.

Jackie keeps her eyes on Tommy's tombstone, promising herself that she wouldn't cry, though she knew a part of her was going with her brother.

John Teller dies a few short years later and Jackie finds it hard to compose herself, but she does her best and she knows Gemma is proud of her.

Opie later brings her to the garage later and they stare at the pieces of John Teller's Harley. He awkwardly placed his hand on top of Jacqueline in a sign of comfort.

'Wanna talk about it, Jackie?' he asks. It's obvious that he's uncomfortable, but at least he's making the effort to show that she's still loved within the confines of the club.

Jackie kisses his cheek, noticing how red he turned, and turned back to the ruined pile. They dig through it together, the only sound in the air were the metal scraps.

* * *

Whore. Slut. Cunt. Bitch. Baby. Doll Face. Slut. Slut. Slut. Bitch. Biker Whore. Bitch. Slut. Baby.

High School is hell, but Jackie manages to find the humor behind it. She laughs at people who whisper behind her back. She laughs at the teachers who shake their heads when they see the clothes she wears that shows off the tattoos in memory of her father and brother. She doesn't care about their opinion – who are they really? They mean nothing to her. She doesn't care about math or history or geography.

There was one subject she does at least try in. English. Or maybe it was because of the girl she was sitting beside. Tara Knowles was very interesting. There was something about her that made Jackie instantly notice her. Tara Knowles didn't shy away from Jackie, but she didn't exactly talk to her either.

It was only a couple weeks after the new semester when Jackie notices the bruising around her collarbone. Jacqueline passes over some cover up and Tara nods in thanks. They somehow form a friendship. Tara Knowles is the first real friend she has in the outside world. She's smart and has a dark sense of humor Jackie admires and laughs as they both drink beer they stole from Tara's father's liquor cabinet.

They laugh, drink, smoke and ignore the looks Gemma Teller (well, Teller-Morrow now) gives them. Tara doesn't hurt her or gives a fuck about the life Jackie lives in. She's got her own problems and doesn't want to deal with them when they two of them get into trouble for who-the-fuck knows what.

But years later, during their senior year, Tara looks at Universities in Chicago and Jackie knows she'll never be able to see her again. Their too different and Jackie is stuck making the same mistakes her parents have made, though she didn't know that at the time.

* * *

Tara Knowles leaves and Jackie is alone once again. But then something happens. Opie Winston comes back into town, leaving his mother behind and entering their lives once again. He hit his growth spurt and is about a foot or so taller than Jacqueline. His bead grows out and covers his face neatly, though Jackie has a feeling that in no time, it will be just as wild as he is.

They spend as much time together, catching up for lost time. Jackie hates Mary Winston for taking him away, but is grateful for him coming back. They go to Club Parties together, and there is something safe about being with him. His arms around her shoulders make her feel warm and safe.

Then he starts to Prospect and she starts to put on a fake smile in front of Gemma, in front of Clay and in front of Opie. There's a part of her that hates how everything is turning out, but, honestly, what did she think was going to happen? She was never going to be one of them. She was never going to be a Son. She was never going to Prospect. She was never going to be VP or President. No, that's all for Opie now. A descendent of a First 9. Co-founder's son.

Everyone tends to forget that her father is John Teller and she is also descended from one of the Founders, and she's Gemma's daughter, through and through.

She learns to put on a pleasing face and smile when needed. She wasn't going to be a Son, but the best she could hope for was an Old Lady, and Old Ladies can make or break a club. She wasn't sure which one she was going to be in the end. But she was going to prove to everybody that she was not going to be overlooked and they were going to remember her.

* * *

Jacqueline was an old lady, though she didn't exactly know how it happened. It seemed as though everybody else was convinced that she and Opie were together. She listened to Gemma and Clay talk about it and didn't bother to correct Bobby.

_Old Ladies can make or break a club. _

When Clay presents Opie with a brand new kutte and the party is swinging, Jackie walks up to him, grabs him by the kutte and presses her lips against his. It was rough and chaste and awkward, but it made a statement. Everyone hollered around them and Opie's rough arms circles around her waist, pressing them closer.

They fuck later that night, slowly and Jacqueline sees stars when she came. What the hell did she wait this long to be with him?

* * *

Jackie starts to keep a small little book in the back of jeans. She writes little things in there: quotes she finds randomly, things people say, things people tell her, and just her own thoughts. It's not a diary. It's not a goddamn diary.

'You should let me read that,' commented Opie.

They were enjoying a quiet time in the countryside: Jackie writing in her book and Opie trying to distract her. He played with her hair, twirling and tangling it in between his fingers.

Jackie scoffed. 'As if, Ope.'

The book was there for her and only her. This is something she gets to do for herself, something nobody can ever take away from her. She does what others tell her. She does her duty, she becomes an old lady, she is the perfect daughter, but this is just for her. Nobody is going to take this one thing away from her.

* * *

Opie proposes to her three years later after constant badgering from Gemma. Gemma's heart is in the right place, though Jackie questions that many times. She wants the best for her daughter and wants a Son to protect her. Gemma wants Jackie to be the next Charming Queen, though Jackie is sure she wants the opposite.

(Right? She doesn't want to be the next Queen bee. She doesn't. _She doesn't_…. right?)

Jackie says yes because that's what's expected of her. She lets her mother plan the wedding, pick the dress and pick the place.

* * *

'Jackie, come here, sweetheart,' Gemma calls her to the dining table.

Jackie sits beside her mother and takes the tea that was offered to her with a small smile. Gemma looks at Jackie for a moment and she does all her best not to squirm in her seat. Jackie loves her mother, she does, but Gemma's gaze is the only thing in the world that makes her feel uneasy. It's cold and calculating and Jackie doesn't want to turn out like her.

'I'm very proud of you,' Gemma began, her hand reaching out and touching Jackie's. She squeezes Jackie's hand for a moment before taking something out from her pockets. 'You getting married to Opie is a great thing. Teller and Winston. Makes sense for everybody. I see the way he looks at you and the way you act around him. You can't fake shit like that.'

She then placed the object on the table in front of Jackie. Rings, two rings.

'These were mine and John's,' said Gemma. 'Ope probably bought one for the two of you, but these are better. John picked them out just before we got married. I'd rather you wear the rings your father picked out than Opie. More meaning, more sentiment and all that crap.' She then sighed. 'This way, it seems as though you're father's there in spirit.'

Jackie smiles at the sentiment, but couldn't get those words out of her head. _I'm very proud of you. _Not happy for her daughter, but proud that Jackie was doing her duty.

If Jackie is one thing, she's a good girl and she knows her duty.

* * *

The wedding is held in on a reservation with different members from different carters coming down for the special event. Jury comes down and Jackie rushes into his arm, squeezing him as he laughs.

'It's good to see you, Jax,' said Jury. _Jax_… she'll always be Jax to him rather than Jackie. She loves the name and nobody else calls her that – it's only for Jury.

'It's good to see you too, Uncle Jury,' Jackie says sweetly to him. Sweet is what people only see from her, and she comes to accept it.

'I can't believe it's finally happening,' said Jury. 'A Teller and a Winston together. It's about damn time.'

Jackie's smile doesn't flatter; she learns how to control her emotions. She nods her head and gives his cheek a kiss before going to where her mother directs her. Clay is already there, waiting for her with a big smile. She wraps her arm around his and tries not to cringe. They begin to walk down the aisle together. Stepfather and stepdaughter.

Three things are going through her mind as they inch closer and closer towards the minister and Opie. One: she doesn't have a bridesmaid. Tara won't come back to Charming, even for Jackie's wedding. Two: John Teller should be walking her down the aisle. Tommy should be standing beside Opie. Three: She doesn't want to get married.

(_I don't want this… I don't want this… I don't want this…)_

This is not the life she wants. She doesn't want to be standing there next to Opie in front of a minister. A Teller and Winston coming together in holy matrimony is something every charter thinks of at one moment or another, but it's something she doesn't want.

But she does what's expected of her and she does it with a smile that could rival Gemma's. A smile that doesn't give anything away and keeps the boy's mind at ease.

'Brothers and sisters, we come together today under the all-seeing eye of nature to witness the blessed joining of Harry Kenneth Winston and Jacqueline Natalia Teller. You're both here of your own free will, intent on marriage?'

Jackie wonders when lying comes easy to her, how the words flow easily out of her mouth, not even taking her by surprise anymore.

'Yes,' Jackie and Opie say together.

'I'd like to share with you a blessing of the Apache. Now you feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you feel no cold, for you will always be warmth for each other. Now you feel no loneliness, for you will always be each other's companion. Now you are two persons, with only one life before you. May beauty and peace surround you both in your journey ahead and though all the years to come.'

'With this ring,' Jacqueline began, putting John Teller's wedding ring on Opie's finger, 'I vow my love. I promise to always be a faithful and loving wife… and old lady.'

'With this ring,' said Opie as Gemma Teller's old ring was now on Jackie's finger, 'I vow my love. And I promise to always cherish and protect you… And treat you as good as my leather and…' He paused as everybody else joined in, 'Ride you as much as my Harley!'

Everyone cheered, whooped, applauded and laughed.

'By the power invested in my by the laws of the Wahewa and the State of California, I pronounce you man and wife. Have at it.'

Everyone continued to cheer and applaud as Jackie and Opie Winston kissed.

* * *

After the party and after their first night (Jackie scoffs at that idea), she watches him in the night. He's still and silent as his chest moves up and down steadily. He looks peaceful as his palm rests easily on Jackie's abdomen.

She loves him, she knows she does, and in another life, she would have happily agreed to marry him without a second thought, without the MC breathing down on her neck to say 'yes'.

But Opie is kind and patient with her and he treats her well. He loves her, but she doesn't love him as much as he does.

* * *

Jackie feels happy with the house and the picket fences. Normal domestic life works for her. She paints the house, picks out the furniture, and adds her own touch to it. Opie nods when necessary and she kisses his cheek when necessary.

She has a paint easel in the corner of the living room, though she can't paint to save her life. Opie jokingly makes fun of her works as she sits on his lap and he cresses her legs. They sometimes paint together, though Opie would rather kiss her neck.

She finds these times calming. Strokes on the canvas, colours mixed together in harmony, the peace… Only in their house, Jackie loves the married life. Everything is quiet and peaceful. They are not under the eyes of SAMCRO. They are not expected to act perfect. Behind closed doors, they act like idiots in love.

* * *

Kyle Hobart was someone who didn't deserve the patch. He didn't deserve the Reaper tattoo on his back. He didn't deserve to call himself a Son.

Jackie watches him, her blue eyes hard and cold. When she sees people like this in the club her father built, she wishes she was born with a cock. If she was a boy, she would kick Kyle Hobart out the moment he stepped foot inside the clubhouse. He was weak and he just wanted pussy, despite having a caring wife and two kids that look up to him.

He wasn't loyal to the club, if not he wouldn't have abandoned Opie during their arson. He was supposed to be in the getaway car. Once he heard the sirens, he spilt and Opie landed in county for five years.

Jackie is present when Clay strips away his patches and she is there as he cries, begging for their forgiveness. He looks desperately at Clay, at Tig, Chibs, Bobby, Piney, Gemma and finally Jacqueline. She glares at him and he turns away, realizing he was fighting a losing battle.

Kyle Hobart has two weeks to pack up what little he has left and leave Charming. Within that two weeks, Jackie finds out she's pregnant.

She isn't ready for this. Opie is gone, locked up away in Stockton, and she's alone. Gemma will be there, yes, but she's only a grandmother, nothing more. The club will help out, but they are not the child's father.

But Jacqueline Teller wants this baby. She'll make it work, with or without Opie.

* * *

Jackie goes through the storage, trying to find some of Tommy's old toys and crib. She goes through boxes and pictures. She smiles at the one with John Teller holding her and tucks it away in her pocket, along with her and baby Tommy. She laughs at her parent's wedding picture, can't believe the hair her mother had.

She then finds a box marked: _John Misc._ and opens it. Pictures and a bunch of random things she didn't have time to go over, but there was something that peaks her interest: a black binder with a stack of papers.

_The Life and Death of SAM CRO._

_How the Sons of Anarchy Lost Their Way._

_By John Thomas Teller._

Jackie then flipped to the next page.

_For my son, Thomas, who's already at peace, and for my daughter, Jacqueline, may she never know this life of chaos._

Jackie's eyes blink a couple times at the words. She's about to turn the page, eager and ready to read the words her father wrote years ago –

'Hey, did you find anything?' Gemma asked, walking into the view of the storage unit.

Jackie jumps a little and stuffs the manuscript back into the box hastily. She turns to her mother and shrugs, though her heart is racing.

'Just some shitty toys,' said Jackie. 'Nothing much here, though I did find something interesting…'

She then takes out the picture of Gemma on her wedding day and laughs. Gemma look a little outraged, though it's all fake.

'Oh, shut up, asshole,' said Gemma, rolling her eyes and she takes the picture in her own eyes. A wistful look overcomes her face. 'I was hot.'

'Smokin',' said Jackie. 'But that hair looks like shit, ma.'

Gemma lightly punches her arm and walks away, tucking the picture in her back pocket. Jackie sighs, relaxing. She managed to distract her mother for the time being, but couldn't sneak the manuscript out of the house. Jackie looks back at the box, a box full of John Teller's secrets and promises herself that she would come back for it, that her father's words would not die in some storage unit.

* * *

Jackie gives birth to their son and she laughs when the doctor announces that it was a boy, but her laughs slowly die as the doctor announces that the baby will have to get some sort of checkup. The words were blurred in her head. She didn't need some sort of doctor telling her what it was or how they should be optimistic. It was the god damn family curse all over again, the same one that took Tommy away from her.

For weeks, she had to watch her son though the toaster, watching his small body breathe with difficulty. Gemma blamed herself, Piney blamed the doctors and Jackie didn't give a fuck about both of them. She watched her son fight to survive for weeks. She watched the doctor look surprise day after day at his strength.

Jackie smirks. Her son is already pissing off his doctors. He truly is his mother's son.

It takes weeks and sleepless nights until she is finally able to hold him. The doctor places him in her arms and she lets go. She cries for the first time in years. She didn't cry when Tommy died, and she didn't shed a tear with John Teller was hit by the semi. She kept a straight face when Gemma married Clay Morrow and only closed her eyes when Opie was sentenced.

But holding her son, her little baby with her blue eyes and wisps of blond hair, released every emotion inside of her. She cried of happiness, of sadness, of excitement and of sorrow. She cried for the son she was holding, for the brother she lost, for the father she lost, for the mother who loved another man more than her, and for the husband that should be here.

She cried and laughed as she looked at her son. She then kissed his forehead.

'I don't know how to break this to you, little man, but I'm your mama. Sorry about that.'

Gemma is in the room, crying and laughing, but Jackie ignores her. She wants to spend one day where Gemma is not the center of attention.

No, her son is. She holds him close; trace his features and just watching him. She doesn't give him up when Gemma insists on seeing him or when the guys come over to see the newest member of SAMCRO. She allows them to place the blue beanie on top of his head, but that's it. He is her son, not the club's.

Jackie brings the baby on her next visit up to Stockton. She waits patiently as the guards bring Opie in.

He limps slightly, but quickens up when he sees Jackie waiting there for him. Before saying anything to her, he gives her a big kiss. Her feet are lifted slightly off the ground as she wraps her arm around his neck.

Jackie squeals for a second before relaxing into the kiss. She never really thought that she would miss these kisses until Opie was behind bars. His lips, his arms around her waist and his beard tickling her neck…

'I've missed you,' Opie whispered.

'I've missed you too,' said Jackie. And she meant it. She missed Opie. She missed having him in the house and in the bed next to her.

Her feet are then placed back down on the floor and they sit next to each other. Jackie lifts her son – no, their son from the carrier and Opie takes him carefully, almost fearfully, into his arms. He makes a small noise before falling into contempt. He knows he is in safe hands with Opie, with his father.

'His name is Abel,' Jackie whispered, looking directly at Opie, watching his every move. 'Abel Teller Winston.'

Opie smiles, though he only has eyes for his son. 'He's beautiful,' he whispers. He then looks up at Jackie. 'I promise I'll never miss anything like this again... I'm… I'm so sorry.'

Jackie smiles at him and for a brief moment, her heart flutters. The look on his face and the sincerity in his voice makes her love him even more than before. And she believe him, for a brief moment, she believes him. That belief and that love is going to kill her one day.

**Not sure if I should continue or leave it like this yet... **


	2. Home

**disclaimer: I do not own anything. **

Home

Opie knew he loved her the moment Mary Winston took him away from Charming or was it when he was a pipsqueak pretending that his tricycle was his father's Harley? He wasn't so sure about the answer when he goes back and thinks on it, but somehow, Mary Winston does come into play.

Mary tries to get him to settle in a quiet neighbourhood in Nevada. But the quiet doesn't suit him. He hates it. Nobody listens to music after dark. Nobody understands the tattoos on his arms or why he hates the town. No matter how much he tries, Opie just couldn't adjust to the white collar, picket fence life Mary was trying to instill in him.

So after many fights and screaming matches, Opie finally decides he had enough. He packed up what little things he had, gets into his cage and drives off back to Charming, where he belongs.

* * *

The first thing he did the moment he entered Charming was trade the old car he took from Mary. The cage was an old dead beat thing that he was glad to see gone. He traded it in for a bike, for an old Harley that still managed to run. It was better than the cage.

The first person he sees when he enters the club is his father, sitting at the bar, nursing a beer. The moment the door closes behind Opie and he comes into light, Piney looks up at him. There was a glint in his eye that Opie has never seen before.

'Took yea' long enough,' grunted Piney. He then stood up and hugged Opie, crushing his son against his chest.

He meets up with the rest of the club after. Tig's still the same, Clay's happy to see him, Chibs makes some jokes, and Gemma gave him a kiss on the cheek. Bobby claps him on the back and the last person he sees is Jackie.

She's not inside the clubhouse where there's a party in full swing for his return. She's sitting on the rooftop with a cigarette in one hand and tequila in the other. She smiles when he takes the seat next to her and takes a drag.

'Haven't seen you yet,' he said quietly.

'Too many people watching,' Jackie said softly. She takes a small sip and looks off into the distance of what little they could see of Charming. 'I've missed you, Ope. I'm glad you're back. Your beard looks like shit, though.'

Opie laughs, Jackie laughs, and they spend the rest of the night on the rooftop, reminiscing about their childhood. At the end of the night, when the music starts to quiet down and people have left the lot, his right arm is around Jackie as she rests her head on his chest while her hand is clutching his shirt. He looks down at her peaceful face with a frown in her eyebrow. He smiles and then kisses the top of her head.

He belongs in Charming; there is no doubt about it. He has blood ties with the town. It was where he was born, where he grew up, but most of all it was where Jackie was. He belongs here with her.

* * *

Prospecting for the club goes off without a hitch, and within the year, he's already a Son. Not that anybody didn't see that coming. He knew it was going to happen sooner or later. He hears Gemma talking about it with Clay and sometimes with Bobby.

_It's in his blood_.

But he didn't really expect Jackie to press her lips against his during the party. He imagined her lips on his many times when he watches her talk animatedly and how good they would feel against her and how it would all make sense for them.

What he got was better. Her lips were a soft and tasted of beer. Her hands were gripping his new kutte. His chest pressed against hers.

_I love you _he thinks as he wraps his arms around her waist. _I love you_ he thinks as the club cheers around them. _I love you_ he thinks when they move their head away from each other's by a few inches. He looks into her eyes, her deep blue eyes, and thinks: _I love you. _

* * *

The way she is when other people are around is different than behind closed doors. She has a way of acting, talking, walking in public. She just knows what to do; how to comfort croweaters when they're just a little down, how to make people laugh (club members, strangers on the street).

But behind closed doors, she quiet. Her smile is genuine. Her movements are slow and careful, as though memorizing each second. Her laughs are throaty and genuine. A laugh that belongs to a woman that loves to drink, smoke, and just have some fun. Her hair is messy and pulled into a bun. Her eyes always gazing everywhere with a small smile, as though she couldn't believe she was there. Her fingers trailing over various surfaces. The table in his shitty apartment. The beat up couch. The small picture of them taken a couple weeks ago. His beard, his cheeks, his tattoos that she likes to press her lips against.

'I love you,' Opie says abruptly. He couldn't hide it anymore, and it just sort of came out. 'I love you.'

Jackie's fingers stop tracing the Grim reaper over his heart and looks at him. She gives him a short, dry laugh and says, 'You sure about that, Ope?'

Opie then gently grabs the hand that was slowly creasing him and kisses her knuckles. 'I love you and I've been in love with you since I was a kid pretending that my tricycle was a Harley, since Mary took me away after the divorce. I love you, Jackie, and I hope you know that.'

Jackie's smile flutters for a moment before it returns back on her face. She chuckled and shook her head, as though not believing him. She then kissed him, smiling into it. 'You really are something, aren't you, Opie?'

She laughs and falls into his arms, burying her face into his warm chest. He tries to push away the fact that she didn't say it back, but just hold her close, wrapping his big, rough arms around her small shoulders (they were small compared to his), breathing her in. Opie wonders if Jackie knew what to do when someone actually fell in love with her.

* * *

'You love her?' Piney asks him one day as they were waiting for church to commence.

Opie drowns his drink and nods, saying nothing and letting his actions do the work.

'Treat her right, tell her how much she means to you and buy her some flowers every once in a while. Treat her right or I'll let Gemma deal with you.'

Opie hold his tongue and wonders whether or not it's bleeding. He loves his father, but there are some things Piney Winston shouldn't be giving advice about, and this is one of them.

* * *

Opie attempts to make her dinner one day. He gets recipes from Gemma, all the while enduring her knowing smile and her teasing. He listens as she explains what to do, though he does drift off every once in a while.

He attempts to make everything Gemma has told him and smiles when the chicken is only barely burnt (it was still a good effort, geez). The potatoes have some lumps in them and the sauce is slightly dense. He knows it doesn't taste as good, that it is barely good for human consumption.

But when Jacqueline comes over, shock evident in her face, and she taste it, the look of delight on her face is wonderful and lightens up the angst in his heart. Her shock, her delight and the smile on her face was worth the chaos in the kitchen –

'I love you,' Jackie whispers, her blue eyes staring at his dark brown.

* * *

The ring sits heavy in his kutte for months, almost a year. Piney tells him to grow a pair and just do it. Gemma keeps hinting at grandchildren, and then later forcefully tells him to propose. Clay claps him on the back and wishes him luck with a laugh. Bobby and Chibs narrow their eyes, watching for him to fuck up so that they could kick his ass.

So he finally does it, months and months later (he will endure his father calling him a pussy, he doesn't care), during a lazy November morning.

Opie's just tracing Jackie's back indolently, not really even thinking about it. It just became routine for them to wake up in each other's arms. He looks down at her. Soft blonde curls, eyes halfway between closed and open, steady breath.

He then cups her cheek and her eyes open wider, looking at him in puzzlement. He kisses the tip of her nose.

'Marry me,' he says, his eyes searching hers. 'Will you?' he adds uncertainly. 'I'll give you a beautiful life, Jackie. I will do whatever I can to make you happy and to love you every day for as long as I am breathing. I love you, will you marry me?'

Her breath hitches for a moment and he can feel her tense up. But then she smiles and there are tears in her eyes and she says yes and Opie can't stop kissing her.

* * *

'I'm proud of you, son,' said Piney.

'I know, pop,' said Opie.

'Don't make the same mistakes as me.'

'Jeez, I hope not.'

* * *

The wedding is held at a reservation with different members from different carters coming down for the special event. Opie sees different walks of life everywhere. He finally meets the infamous Tacoma Killer, hugs Quinn, and shakes Jury's hand, someone who means the world to Jackie.

'She's a special girl, Opie,' Jury tell him. 'You're very lucky.'

Opie smiles at him. 'Don't I know it?'

He watches as Jackie walks down the aisle with Clay. He swears for a moment everything around him just becomes blurry and he just can't breathe. The only thing in the world that matters is Jacqueline and the fact that she's walking towards him and he has to remember how to use his mouth to say his vows. (_Oh god, how do I speak, again?_)

She finally reaches him after what seems like years and she smiles at him. He has to remember how to breathe. (_In and out, Winston. In and out_).

'Brothers and sisters, we come together under the all-seeing eye of nature to witness the joining of Harry Kenneth Winston and Jacqueline Natalia Teller. You're both here of your own free will, intent on marriage?'

'Yes,' Opie and Jackie say together.

'I'd like to share with you a blessing of the Apache. Now feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you fell no cold, for you will always be warmth for each other. Now you fell no loneliness, for you will always be each other's companion. Now you are two people, with only one life before you. May beauty and peace surround you both in your journey ahead and though all the years to come.'

'With this ring,' began Jackie, putting John Teller's wedding ring on Opie's fingers, 'I vow my love. I promise to always be a faithful and loving wife… and old lady.'

'With this ring,' said Opie as Gemma Teller's old ring was now on Jackie's finger. 'I vow my love. And I promise to always cherish and protect you… And treat you as good as my leather and…' He paused as everybody else joined it, 'Ride you as much as my Harley!'

Everyone cheered, whooped, applauded and laughed.

'By the power invested in me by the laws of the Wahewa and the State of California, I pronounce you man and wife. Have at it.'

Everyone continued to cheer and applaud as Jackie and Opie kissed.

* * *

Opie just gazes at her face in the morning after their first night. Silent and still, he would go to war for her. He doesn't really care what happens to him. He could lose his arm, not be able to ride, break him, even try to kill him, but if someone even tries to hurt her, he will tear the apart and take pleasure in watching them bleed out.

* * *

Normal domestic life feels very odd to Opie. He's tried the picket fences once with Mary and hated it, but it's all different with Jackie. He's happy, really, really happy. He shows how much he loves her and proves it each day. She rolls her eyes but he can't help but want to kiss each inch of her skin.

* * *

Sirens are glaring in the background as Opie watches the getaway car leave without him. He stares incredulously after the car. The fact that Kyle Hobart left without him didn't quite register in his mind. They were brothers in every single way that mattered. They sat at the same Reaper table. They shared jokes, laughs, drinks and he deserts Opie.

The cops handcuff him and he wonders what Piney will do to Kyle.

They process him and he wonders who Gemma is going to scream at.

The court date is set and he wonders whether or not Clay is going to let Kyle meet Mayhem.

The judge sentences him and he wonders whether or not he is going to survive without his wife.

When she visits him for the first time, nearly after a whole month (he barely survived without waking up next to her) and tells him that she's pregnant, he feels as though he's going to be sick. Kyle Hobart fucked everything up and Opie's paying the price for it.

That piece of shit should be locked up. Opie should be her wife as their kid grows inside of her. He wants to be there for the appointments, for the sickness, for when the baby starts to kick and he sure as hell wants to be there when the kid is born.

Instead, he has to hear it from Piney over the phone that it's a boy and that he's fighting to live.

* * *

He's been waiting for this for a long time. The anticipation was almost killing him. He was scared and terrified and had nightmares of breaking the kid, but all his fears disappeared the moment he held his son.

He looked so peaceful and his eyes flutter open and close. Opie loves Jackie with all his heart, but the love he has for his son is different. It's instant and wonderful and there is relief when Abel is in his arms. It's right, it's wonderful and he falls in love with Jackie all over again for Abel's life and Opie stops hating himself a little at a time.

* * *

Months and years fly by and Opie counts down each day until he can hold his son every day and kiss Jackie without being in a prison suit.

* * *

Opie wonders whether or not he should be the VP of the club, it was in his blood after all. Clay has come to Stockton a couple times to offer him the patch when he got out. Opie thinks about it. The patch on his kutte. The patch that was once his father's now on him. His legacy was already written out the moment he was born. A Winston on the left side of the President, where a Winston belongs.

Gemma pushes for it, as Gemma always does. Opie is the son she never got to raise. Opie is the closest thing Gemma has to one. Tommy was a child when he died, Jackie is not a substitute.

_Jackie_.

Her pictures are taped to the wall of his cellar. From the ones when they were kids, to her tattoo in memory of her father and brother, her crow and the day they got married. As the months flew by, pictures of their son was added. His first smile, the first time he walked, his first boo-boo (Opie laughed when he heard Abel got into a fight at the park), the first day off school…

Opie sighs wistfully as he looks through these pictures once again. Abel looks a lot like Jackie with the same blue eyes and blonde hair, though his smile reminds Opie of Piney's.

She writes letters to him every week, pages of pages of them mailed to him talking about their son. She occasionally writes about Piney or Gemma or the club. But the paper is filled with joy and happiness that only a mother can get when she talks about her son. She writes about how Abel loves to play on the swings and how he loves giraffes more than monkeys, and how he loves to sleep in their bed when it's raining.

* * *

His family comes to visit him and these are the days he holds onto. Abel speeds into his waiting arms as Jackie follows him, though opting to walk instead. She gives him a quick kiss as they all sit down.

'I've missed you, Daddy,' said Abel, sitting on his lap as he looks up at Opie.

'I've missed you too, buddy.'

Opie kisses the top of his head as he looks at Jackie. She looks tired and he quickly looks away. The guilt hurts him. Jackie raising Abel all on her own eats away at him.

'Couple more months,' Opie tells her.

Jackie gives him a lazy smile. 'Yeah. Couple more months.'

* * *

They talk about what's going on in their life. Opie tells her about basketball games and fights in the yard. She tells him about Abel, and it's always Abel. She can feel the pain in him when he sees their son run towards him, arms open. He can feel the pain within her when she has to do it all alone.

He tells her that it will never happen again, that he's going to be there and he's never going to miss anything like this every again. He's afraid that she leaves Stockton not believing in him anymore, that his words are empty.

* * *

Opie finally walks out of Stockton and marvels at the sun on his skin. He expects a pile of bikes waiting for him, but all he sees is Jackie leaning against her car and Abel in the backseat. It was better than a pile of bikes.

She sees him walking towards her and she does the same with him. Her hands reach towards him and when their inches away from each other, she gently touches his chest and when he doesn't disappear, when he's still standing in front of her, she laughs.

Her laugh is music to his ears. He hugs her as she laughs and cries and they kiss through their blubber, softly and slowly. He lifts her off the ground and she wraps her legs around his waist. He walks to the hood of her car and she sits there, holding on to anything she can grab. Abel finally makes his presence known. He walks out of the car and tugs on Opie's jeans slyly. He's scared and shy and he doesn't know how much this is going to change his life. Opie can't wait for the change.

Opie picks Abel is and holds his son close. There are no restrictions. He can hold Abel for as long as he damn well pleases. Abel is his son and no prison guard is going to take him away from Opie.

'Let's go home,' Jackie whispers. There is a look on her face as she looks at Opie and Abel, father and son.

Home. Home is wherever Jackie and Abel are to him. He's already home.

* * *

Getting adjusted back into civilization was tough for him. Five years was way too long to be away from everything. Jackie helps him as much as she could, but he has to do this by himself. He works at Teller-Morrow and does his best to earn his place back at the table.

When he's not doing club work or working at the garage, he's with Abel. He learns everything about his son. He doesn't like peas but likes broccoli. He likes Chibs the most out of his uncles and likes to play hide and seek. His favourite movie is Peter Pan and Ursula scares him.

'He's a good kid,' Opie tells her as they watch him run around in the playground. 'Smart too.'

'Yeah, he gets that from me,' smirks Jackie.

Abel is their joy and Opie looks at Jackie.

It's been about five years and he's finally there for the two of them. He's going to make it right for her sake.

* * *

Two months after his release, after his homecoming party, Jackie finds out she's pregnant.

Opie starts to laugh, but stops when he sees the look on her face, the uncertainty and the fear of adding another child to their new surroundings. Abel has just gotten used to seeing his father every day and having another child will be complicated.

'It's going to be different this time,' he tells her. He reminds her this all the time until she believes it. They can make it work together; she doesn't have to do it alone this time. Abel is going to be a big brother and they are going to be blissfully happy with the new baby.

* * *

Their son is born months later, healthy and screaming as Jackie laughs and Opie nurses a crushed hand. He has tiny strands of dark hair on top of his red head, fists waving about and Opie can't remember seeing anything just so utterly beautiful, and when he sees Jackie cradle their son, everything feel into place.

'What's his name, Daddy?' Abel looks up at him with his mother's eyes.

Opie smiles at him and brings Abel closer to his brother. 'His name is John Piermont.'

'After grandpa!' Abel says excitedly.

Opie smiles at Abel and then at Jackie, who kisses the top of John's head.

'After grandpa,' she whispers.

John opens his eyes and Opie knew he picked the right name; after all, the new baby does have the Teller eyes.

**Thank you for reading! This chapter was supposed to show the contrast in Opie and Jackie and how they view each other differently. Hope I did I justice. Tell me what you think. **


	3. A Mother, a Wife, and a Decent Mechanic

**disclaimer: I do not own anything. **

A Mother, a Wife, and a Decent Mechanic

Tara Knowles comes back and Jackie is taken back.

She's at St. Thomas for a check up on Abel, and she runs into the good doctor when she was going to get a juice box for Abel. Literally. She takes a sharp corner and all of a sudden, papers are flying into the air and they're on the ground. Jackie's eyes widen and neither of them knows what to say.

'Hey,' Tara says first, shocked evident in her voice.

'Hey,' said Jackie, blinking a couple times. 'When – when did you come back?'

Tara smiles softly at her. 'Two weeks ago. Got a job here a month ago. Dad died a while ago, left the house to me with the Cutlass and two tons of old newspapers.'

'Oh, shit, sorry, I didn't know,' said Jackie, remembering Richard. Handsome man, piss poor excuse of a father.

'It's fine,' said Tara, waving it off. 'It was a small funeral, quiet. Not many people showed up.'

'I would have,' said Jackie.

'I know,' said Tara. 'That's why I didn't invite you.'

On goers stare that them on the floor and they quickly gather up the papers on the floor and walk towards the cafeteria. Jackie was heading that way, Tara followed along.

They walked in awkward silence until they reach the cafeteria line. Tara opens her mouth towards Jackie, about to say something, but then shakes her head and says, 'The roast beef is good. I had it yesterday.'

Jackie nods. 'Good to know.'

But she just gets a can of coke and a juice box.

'Coke and orange juice?' Tara asks, giving her a dry laugh. 'Have things changed _that much_?'

'Well, I now have two sons, so yes,' said Jackie, noticing that Tara momentarily stopped in her tracks, 'things have changed very drastically.'

'_Two_?' splutters Tara, catching up with Jackie. 'You have two sons?'

'Yes,' Jackie tells her. 'Abel and John. Abel looks like me and John has my eyes, but he's only two months old. You should come over and meet them sometime.'

Tara nods absentmindedly, staring at Jackie all the while.

'It's not good to stare, doc,' said Jackie, smirking.

'Sorry, just shocked,' said Tara, shaking her head. 'Never saw you as the motherly type.'

'Me too,' said Jackie, shrugging. 'But things change.'

'They sure do,' said Tara, sighing. 'When can I come over?'

* * *

Tara keeps to her word and comes over for lunch in a couple days' time.

Abel, though rather shy around strangers, smiles at Tara and asks whether or not she would like to colour with him. John, however, is sleeping, but is oddly quiet when he's awake.

'You and Opie?' Tara asks.

'It was meant to be,' said Jackie. Then she laughed a little, realizing something.

'What?' Tara asks her.

'Just… you back in Charming that's all. Never thought you'd land back here after fighting tooth and nail to get out.'

'You made it sound as though I hated Charming.'

'You did,' said Jackie. 'Probably still do.'

'I didn't hate Charming, Jackie,' said Tara. 'Just who I was back then and just… things didn't seem to work out the way I hoped it would back then. Few things did though.' She smiled at Jackie. 'What about you?' her foot gently touched Jackie's leg. 'Things work out for you?'

Jackie looked at Abel, colouring on the floor next to John, who was just waving his toy around. She smiled at the image of them and nodded. 'You could say that, yeah.'

* * *

'_She _hurt this family,' Gemma spat out. 'Tried to pull you away.'

Jackie scoffs as she put John in his crib. 'She didn't hurt this family and she didn't try to pull me away from anything, Ma. She never asked me to come along with her to Chicago or anywhere else.'

'But you would have, wouldn't you?' Gemma accused her.

Jackie brushes John's dark hair for a moment and then says, 'No, I wouldn't. I belong here.'

She belongs here. She belongs with her boys.

* * *

_Most of us were not violent by nature. We all had our problems with authority, but none of us were sociopaths. We came to realize that when you move your life off the social grid you gave up the safety that society provides. On the fringe, blood and bullets are the rule of law and if you're a man with convictions, violence is inevitable._

* * *

Jackie packs her kids in the car and drives over to the fundraiser. For at least once a year, her mother becomes a saint, but she can't promise that for the rest of the charter. She spots Kyle Hobart and takes a step back.

The sound of engines pulling up at the school snaps her out of it and she looks at Opie, trying to get some answer from him.

She sees the look of apology in his face and that's all she needed. Opie let him come back. The club let him come back to Charming. Her hold on John tightens as Abel walks towards Opie, holding his hand.

'I'm sorry,' Opie tells her.

'Well, thank you for considering me,' Jackie says quietly towards Opie. 'Abel, why don't you go with Uncle Bobby and find Grandma? Me and Daddy need to talk.'

Abel runs off with Bobby, leaving his parents and brother standing in the middle of the parking lot.

'You let him come back,' hissed Jackie. She lifted John higher in her arms as his lips began to tremble. 'He _left _you. He betrayed you. He betrayed the club. He let you rot in prison. What the hell were you thinking? What the hell were you all thinking? Were you planning on getting even?'

'It's not about getting even,' said Opie. 'Look, the guy's got nothing. No club, no family. It'll do me some good to see that. Appreciate what I've got.' He then brushed his thumb over John's baby cheeks and smiled at Jackie. 'He's kid's band is playing tonight. Kyle's never seen him play. Thought I'd be nice. Charitable even.'

Jackie still scowled at him. 'You could have at least talked to me about it. You taking that fall hurt me as much as it hurt you. I was alone for years because of that asshole. I raised Abel alone because of him. You could have at least treated me with the same amount of respect as you showed Hobart.'

'Hey,' said Opie, slightly pissed off, 'I show you more respect than –'

'Yeah, I can clearly see that,' said Jackie, watching Kyle help his son with the band equipment. She then walked away, holding John tighter in her arms.

She walks to Gemma's booth, watching her boss some people around. She smiles at Luann as Gemma finally spots her.

'Oh, let me see my baby,' cooed Gemma, reaching out for John and giving him a kiss on the cheek. She then looked at Jackie and said, 'Seen him yet?'

'Yeah,' said Jackie. 'Watch Abel and John for a while. I'm gonna have a word with him.'

Jackie doesn't wait to see Gemma's reaction, but will know that her mother will watch over her boys for the time being. She walks over to where Kyle and Charlie are standing near the school building, laughing. Kyle sees her and his face turns solemn.

'Hey, give us a minute, Charlie,' Kyle told his son. Charlie gave him a nod and walked away. Kyle sighed and nodded, watching Charlie walk away. 'No need to say anything, Jacqueline. I know my boundaries. I'll keep my distance.'

'Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway,' said Jackie, her nose flaring. 'Stay away from everyone. When your kid's done playing, you and your teenage mid-life crisis climb in your little cage and drive away. You don't show your face in Charming every again. Opie may have a kind heart for you, but I don't. Never forget that Kyle.'

She turned to walk away, but then Kyle said 'Jackie, wait.'

'What do you want, Kyle?' Jackie asked, turning around yet again to Kyle.

'I have something,' said Kyle, sighing and rubbing his forehead. 'Something for the club. This thing fell into my lap, Jackie. I'm making stupid money funneling stolen parts through my gig over at Sparks Brothers, and I want to hook the club up –'

Jackie pushed Kyle behind the school wall, making sure that nobody else was able to see her slap him. It stung, she knew it did. His head snapped to the other side of his cheek and he winced in pain.

'That's why you're here?' hissed Jackie. 'Trying to buy the club back? Pull them into one of your bullshit schemes?'

'It's not bullshit,' said Kyle, getting mad as he got into Jackie's face. 'Okay. I want to share this with the guys.'

'Unbelievable,' said Jackie, shaking her head. She was about to walk away when Kyle grabbed her hand and squeezed. She tried not to wince, but his grip was strong on her arm.

'I'm trying to help the club,' said Kyle, letting go of her arm. 'Just trying to say sorry.'

'No,' said Jackie. 'You're trying to buy your way back in, and it's not going to happen. The moment your son is done playing, you're out of here.'

She walked away before he was able to say anything. She passed by Bobby as he was taking individual pictures of mini-Elvis', and walked back to Gemma's booth. There was a nice line for her chilli, and she quickly checked up on her kids.

'How are the guys handling Kyle?' Gemma asked her, bouncing John in her arms.

'Nothing to handle,' said Jackie, watching Luann serve a young girl. 'Kyle's dead.'

'No,' said Gemma, shaking her head. 'He's not. He's not dead to Opie.'

Jackie looked over to see Opie set up the fireworks and glance at Charlie and Kyle every so often. She sighed and walked over to him, smiling at the children and parents that were doing the egg toss.

'You not doing the egg toss with Abel?' Jackie asked Opie.

'He didn't want to do it,' said Opie, not looking up at her. 'Preferred to sit with Gemma and watch Bobby Elvis.' He then looked up at Kyle once again. 'I wanted the guy to be a miserable, broken piece of shit without SAMCRO. Having a hard time right now.'

'Yeah, I get that,' said Jackie.

'This club means everything to me,' Opie continued. 'I've always wanted the kutte and the patch, but everything else seems to be heading in the opposite direction. Abel still hasn't gotten used to seeing me every day. He'd rather be around Gemma and Bobby than me. And I don't know how to take care of John like you. Earning my way back into the club isn't working when I'm scared of heading back into Stockton. Just can't hook shit up right now.'

Jackie snorts and there's a small smile on her face. 'Ope, Abel's seen you in jail for the first five years of his life. He's used to seeing you in a jumpsuit. He's getting there; you just have to give him time. He's just used to see certain things. He still loves you, you know he does, and taking care of John, that'll come to you. It took me weeks before I knew what I was doing with Abel; it's not easy for anyone. So for the club, you'll get there. You're still part of it, and Clay still wants you to be VP. Chibs wants you to be VP. Shit's gonna work out in the end, you'll see.'

Opie smiled at her, but still couldn't help but sneak a glance at Kyle, who was having fun with his daughter at the egg toss.

'You think he's happy?' Opie asked her.

'I don't know,' said Jackie, shrugging.

Then egg was spattered on Kyle's shirt and jacket. He was laughing at the incident along with his kids, and asked his teenage girlfriend to help him out. She took the sweater off and the shirt rose up. Jackie was shocked to see Kyle still wearing the club tattoo on his back.

'Still has that tat,' said Opie, straightening up his spine.

'Yeah,' said Jackie, looking at Opie.

He began to walk towards Kyle, who noticed Opie straightaway. Jackie stood where she was, opting to watch the two of them rather than say something herself. Gemma stood beside her and watched as well with her hands on her hips.

'Everything okay?' Gemma asked her, eyes on Kyle and Opie as they began to walk away.

'Just need to settle a few things,' said Jackie.

'That's not what I meant,' said Gemma. 'How are things with you and Opie?'

'Things are fine, Ma,' said Jackie, taking a deep breath. 'Things have always been fine between me and Opie.'

Then she spotted something on the other side of the grass at the cops' booth behind the grill. He was laughing and getting along well with the residents of Charming, but there was something off about him. His smile… there was something wrong with him.

'We got a new cop in Charming?' Jackie asked her.

Gemma followed her line of vision. 'Him. Agent Kohn. A.T.F. He's looking into the club.'

'Something off about him,' Jackie told her.

'Yeah,' said Gemma, nodding. 'With a good mustache, he could look like a dollar porn star. We should talk to Luann about that.'

Jackie laughed along with the children in the background. Opie and Kyle then walked out of the school. Opie passed by Jackie as Luann grabbed Gemma back to her booth for a chili emergency. Opie kissed her cheek as Kyle gave her a tight smile. There was a huge, dark red mark on Kyle's cheek as well as some dried blood under his nose while Opie spotted a split lip.

'Se you two have been talking,' said Jackie.

'Yep,' said Kyle, looking uncertainly at Opie.

'Seem to be doing all right,' commented Jackie, looking Kyle up and down. 'Still intact. New truck.'

'Nice piece of ass,' said Opie as his hand lay on Jackie's ass.

'Yeah, I guess,' said Kyle, glancing over his shoulders to make sure nobody heard him. He then sighed and said, 'I miss it, man. I miss it all. I mean, when I had that cut on, everybody knew who I was. Even if I never met 'em, man, I got instant respect. Now I'm like every other shithead.'

Jackie and Opie quickly glanced at each other and Jackie looked back at Kyle. She jerked her head towards the wall of the school and the three of them found a corridor to talk quietly without anyone hearing the three of them.

'You started to tell me something earlier,' said Jackie. 'Stolen parts thing.'

She did her best to sound sympathetic, as though she felt sorry for the man. She knew it worked out since Kyle had a hopeful look on his face. She tried her best to hide her smirk. Kyle Hobart was a pathetic, little man.

'Yeah, I'd love to bring it to the club. Let you guys share in the pie,' he said, looking at Opie. 'It's my way of saying sorry.'

Opie nodded. 'I'll run it by Clay.'

'Yeah?' Kyle asked hopefully.

'Yeah. It's kind of a complicated time for us right now. So we should probably do it tonight while you're still in town.'

'Yeah, absolutely,' said Kyle.

'What about your kid's band?' Jackie asked, crossing her arms.

'Oh, hey, it's cool. I can hear him some other time.'

Jackie clenched her jaw and said nothing as Opie and Kyle made their plans. Kyle walked away and Jackie wished she had slapped him harder earlier. He was still the same man as earlier. The same, pathetic, sad little man he has always been.

'Opie,' she said, gripping his shirt for a moment, 'don't give him an option.' Her dark blue eyes held a powerful stare into Opie's dark brown. 'A real man never turns his back on his children for a few scraps of money. You know that, and I know that.'

'Yeah, I know,' said Opie. 'And I'm sorry about all of this. I should have talked to you earlier about Kyle. Should have cleared it up with you. Sorry.'

'It's fine,' said Jackie. 'What I said earlier, I didn't mean some of that, I was just –'

'Pissed off, I know.'

'You should get going,' said Jackie. 'But get back for the fireworks or else you'll be on Gemma's shit list.'

'After today, we'll all be on her shit list.'

Opie then gave her a soft kiss before leaving.

* * *

Jackie holds John close to her as Gemma and April Hobart talk to each other. She can see the panic in April's face as she run away just as Charlie's band started to play. She sways gently to the kid's music as Abel dances with Luann. She kisses John's cheek and feels as though she's being watched. She turns around to see the A.T.F agent watch her from a few feet away.

'Can I help you?' Jackie asks, her eyebrows in a frown.

The agent just shakes his head, smiling at John and then his eyes flickering towards Abel.

'Beautiful boys, you got there,' said the agent.

'Thanks,' said Jackie, holding John closer.

The agent then walks away, leaving Jackie confused about his actions.

'Where's Opie?' Gemma asks her, walking up to her.

'He'll be here, don't worry,' said Jackie, tearing her eyes away from the agent's retreating back.

'Fireworks are supposed to start right after the song,' said Gemma.

'Don't worry,' hissed Jackie. Her eyes then flicker towards the entrance of the parking lot and she sees Opie pulling up. 'Look, he's here.'

Opie manages to bypass Gemma and get the fireworks ready. The song comes to an end and Jackie gets Abel as they make their way over to Opie.

'Daddy!' shouted Abel, running towards him. 'I missed you.'

Opie's face brightens up at his words and fireworks burst into the air. Jackie kisses Opie as the four of them watch the display in the sky.

* * *

Jackie goes parks her car just outside the hospital. She checks her phone to see the picture Neeta sent her of Abel and John smiling into the camera with chocolate on the cheeks. She closes her phone when Tara gets in, looking exhausted.

'Hey,' said Tara, smiling at her. 'Appreciate the lift.'

'No problem,' said Jackie, staring up her car. 'Where's the Cutlass?'

'At home,' said Tara as Jackie pulled out of the hospital.

'Not running right?'

'It's running okay.'

Jackie looked into the rear-view mirror. 'You're worried. Does it have anything to do with the car that's following us?'

Tara's head snapped around to see the silver car following their every movement.

'It does, doesn't it?' asked Jackie.

'Just drive, Jacqueline,' said Tara quietly, staring at the dashboard and sinking lower into her seat.

Jackie looked at Tara, who paled considerably. In all the years Jackie has known Tara, she has never said her full name. Jackie just drove along and kept an eye on the car. How much trouble could one car make?

Jackie parked her car in Tara's driveway as the silver one parked just down the block. Tara bolted out the door the moment Jackie turned off the engine.

'Tara!' Jackie called out after her. She grabbed Tara's arm just as she was about to go into the house. 'What the hell is going on?'

Tara glanced at the car down the block before whispering, 'That A.T.F. Agent that's been looking into the club –'

'The creepy guy with the salt and pepper hair?'

'I think he's here for me.'

'What are you talking about?'

Tara glanced back at the car. 'I was with him in Chicago. It got violent. I – I tried to end it. He started stalking me.'

Jackie looked back at the car and then at Tara. 'Get inside and look the door. Don't let anybody in and keep a kitchen knife close.'

Jackie pushed Tara inside the house and then got into her car. She opened her glove compartment and took out her glock. She tucked it into her pants and drove to Charming PD.

She walked into the station and into Hale's office. He looked up from his paperwork as Jackie took a seat directly across from him.

'Well, come on in,' said Hale, rolling his eyes. 'What do you want, Jackie?'

'You better rein in your A.T.F. boyfriend,' said Jackie, her feet jumping on the floor.

'Agent Kohn isn't on my payroll,' said Hale, frustrated. 'I don't keep tabs on him.'

'Well, maybe you should,' said Jackie. 'He's not here for SAMCRO. He's here for Tara.'

Hale's head snapped up from his papers. 'What the hell are you talking about?'

Jackie snorted. 'I always knew you had a thing for her.'

'Shut up, Jackie, and just tell me.'

'This guy was stalking her in Chicago. Thinks he followed her back to Charming. I'm telling you, Hale, this guy is nuts, and he's going to hurt her.'

'Jesus Christ,' said Hale, rubbing his forehead. 'That's who she had a restraining order against.'

'You knew?' asked Jackie, angry. 'And you didn't do anything about it.'

'I didn't know all of the details,' said Hale. 'But it makes sense now. I'll deal with it. Kohn is my problem and I'll handle it, Jackie.'

'You better,' said Jackie, getting up. 'Or I'll get Opie to.'

She got up and walked out of Hale's office. She passed by a woman in a sharply dressed suit that looked up at Jackie as she was passing by. Jackie matched that woman's stare for a moment before she decides to introduce herself.

'Agent June Stahl,' said the woman, 'and you're Jacqueline Teller, am I right?'

'Yeah,' said Jackie uncertainly.

'I was wondering if I might be able to as you some questions.'

'I'm a little busy right –'

'It will only take a few moments.'

Agent Stahl led Jackie into the yellow interrogation room and closed the door behind her. Jackie took a seat and the agent took the one across from her.

'I was planning on stopping by your house sometime today, but you've saved me the trouble, actually.'

'Well, I do try my best as an American citizen,' said Jackie sarcastically.

Stahl let out a small, dry laugh. 'It must be hard, I assume, with two kids, and a decent job to be able to pay your mortgage.'

'We get by,' said Jackie, crossing her arms.

'But you're behind,' said Stahl.

'We get by,' Jackie repeated.

'You have ties to the club,' said Stahl.

'We all do, what's your point?'

'But SAMCRO is ripping your family apart.'

Jackie snorted and got up. 'You're wasting your time, agent. If you really know who I am, then you know that I would never rat on the club. I'm just a wife, a mother, and a decent mechanic that's working for her mother. You're barking up the wrong tree, agent.'

The door then opened and Unser walked in. 'What the hell is going on in here?'

'Just a friendly chat,' said Stahl. 'You're free to go, Ms. Teller.'

Jackie rolls her eyes as Stahl leaves the room. She and Unser share a look before Jackie leaves the station and back to her house, relieving Neeta of her duties.

* * *

_When we take action to avenge the ones we love, personal justice collides with social and divine justice. We become judge, jury, and God. With that choice comes daunting responsibility. Some men cave under the weight. Others abuse the momentum. The true outlaw finds the balance between the passion in his heart and the reason in his mind. His solution is always an equal mix of might and right. _

* * *

Her cellphone wakes Jackie up, along with Opie and Abel and John. John starts to cry immediately and Opie goes to calm him down, groaning all the way to the room. Jackie, with her eyes closed, struggles to find her phone before finally opening her eyes, sitting up, and answering.

'Hello?' Jackie says, yawning.

'Jackie!' Tara says on the other side of the line. She's panicking and Jackie's spine straightens. 'I need you, please, I need your help right now.'

* * *

'Holy shit,' Jackie whispers, looking at Kohn, who was bleeding out through his gut right now. He was wincing in pain and didn't notice Jackie's presence. She then goes back into the living room where Tara was pacing and worrying herself.

'I – I couldn't stop him,' said Tara, about to burst into tears. 'I – I tried to talk to –'

'It's fine,' said Jackie. 'It's alright. Everything's going to be fine. I'll handle this.'

She looked at her friend. Her innocent friend who was a doctor, who still had her whole life ahead of her. Charming was too small for the likes of Tara Knowles and she didn't need something like this to come back and bite her in the ass.

Jackie looked at the gun that was on the dining table and picked it up. She then walked back into the bedroom. Kohn looked at her and laughed, but it soon turned into a groan.

'Oh, you stupid bitch,' said Kohn. 'Teller is your solution? Seriously?'

Jackie just picked up the pillow on Tara's bed and held it against the side of Kohn's head. It was now held up by the gun in Jackie's hand.

'You pathetic whore,' hissed Kohn.

Jackie didn't know who he was saying that too, but she really didn't care as she pulled the trigger. Tara scream in shock, and those screams turned into whimpers, but, again, Jackie didn't care.

As Tara sat on her bed, crying and huddling up into a ball, while Jackie cleaned up the blood, there was only one thing on Jackie's mind: _I should have been a boy._

**Thank you for reading! Each chapter will switch POV, mostly from Jackie to Opie, but I might write some with Tara or Gemma or some of the other characters. But mostly those two. Canon Jax and female Jackie are still a lot a like and just because they have different genital parts, doesn't mean they won't do the same thing. Jackie's role in the club is different than Jax's, but outside is a whole other story as she also likes to take matters in her own hands, especially when it comes to her family. **


	4. A Family to Lose

**disclaimer: I own nothing. There is a small gap in between the last part and the previous one. **

A Family to Lose

Clay sat forward in his seat, looking grave. The room was dark, save one light, and it was packed with members from different charters. Smoke was in the air as everyone was stressed out and tired. Opie sat next to his father, drink in one hand and the other picking his thumb nail.

'What happened last night can never happen again,' began Clay. 'Not just someone trying to off me. But bodies dropping in Charming 'cause of us.'

'We had nothing to do with the hit on the Nords,' said Tig.

'Mayans went after me and Darby, all right?' said Clay. 'Different targets, same war. If we fire back… we can't stop the blowback from hitting home.'

There were chattering amongst their brothers, everyone agreeing with Clay.

'I sat down with Alvarez,' said Clay, dropping that bomb on all of us.

'What?' exclaimed Tig and Chibs.

Everyone now looked outraged at Clay. Piney's eyes snapped up towards Clay, accusation written all over him. Sitting down with the President of the Mayans. Opie wasn't so sure about this.

'You're kidding me?' said Tig. 'What, just the two of you?'

'Where?' asked Opie.

'Unser's cage,' said Clay. 'We, uh, we discussed our outstanding issues… and made a deal.'

'What kind of deal?' asked Bobby.

'We sell them guns,' said Clay. 'They settle all their beefs with all of us. Any territory hassles, any business disputes… it all lands in our favour.'

'You made that call without a vote?' said Piney, his voice deep. Opie knew that voice. It was a voice that was trying to act calm, but Opie knew that within seconds he was going to blow up.

There were very few things Piney Winston took very seriously. His grandsons and the club. He believed in the Sons. He believed in trust within brothers. Clay going behind their backs and making a deal without bringing it to the club first didn't sit well with Piney.

'I set it up,' said Clay, defending himself. 'We vote on it now.' He leaned back on his throne. 'If this thing passes… you all sit down with the Mayans in your own territories… you work stuff out. Take the win.'

'What about Laroy and the Niners?' said Juice. 'We've had a deal with them for years that we don't sell to the wetbacks.'

'Juice,' began Opie, 'Laroy doesn't have any loyalty to us. He's been buying from other dealers, he reneged on the A.K. sale. Ain't no reason at all we can't branch out.'

He could feel Piney's glare on him now.

'The peace we make with the Mayans could start something a lot worse with the Niners,'said Bobby.

'We'll deal with that fire when it catches,' said Clay,

'You know,' said Tig, 'these assholes tried to kill you, man. We're supposed to just pretend that didn't happen?'

'No,' said Clay. 'No. That debt gets settled. But not by us. It's gotta be some outside charter.' His eyes scanned the room until it met the person he was looking for. 'You up for it, Hap?'

'I'll do this thing,' said Happy, on the other side of Piney. 'It'll be perfect.'

'Of that I have no doubt,' said Clay, sounding impressed.

Clay then looked around the room again. 'Everybody in favour of the Mayan deal –'

Everybody in the room raised their hands in union.

'Anybody opposed?'

Everybody put their hands down.

* * *

Music was blaring, men were whistling, people were drinking. In the corner, Redwood Original was sitting at their own table, discussing their own business. Opie sat down next to Bobby, watching Jackie at the corner of his eye. She was talking to Tara Knowles, the good doc that patched up Cameron Hayes. The doc looked a little shaken up from something, but Jackie just rubbed her shoulders and directed her attention towards the fight in the squared ring.

'Cameron was supposed to kill that piece of shit Hefner before Monday,' said Chibs, nursing a bottle of beer in his hands.

'Hefner's squeezing the Irish from more payoff cash,' said Juice, 'so he's gonna intercept the cargo.'

'How is that our problem?' said Tig.

'It ain't a problem,' said Chibs, lighting up another cigarette. 'It's a gift from the Irishman.'

'Look,' said Juice. 'We take out the port commissioner, he's gonna give us back the two hundred K that we just forked over plus a month of free guns.'

'Our warehouse rebuild is crushing us,' said Bobby. 'It's the cost of raw materials. Free guns and cash? We could be seeing black before we put a roof on.'

'Murder for hire?' said Clay. 'That's a dirty business.'

'It's not about the money,' said Piney, sounding insulted at Clay's words. 'That asshole killed McKeevy. Michael was a friend of mine, and yours, and JT's. And he went back a long way with SAMCRO.'

Clay looked from Piney to Opie, contemplating Piney's words. 'What do you think, Ope?'

Opie nodded, thinking about what to say. Every word from here on out could decide his fate in SAMCRO. He needed to get back in good with the club. He needed to be accepted again. And he needs to prove his loyalty. 'I agree with Piney. McKeevy was a friend. We owe it to the Irish.'

Clay sat forward in his seat, nodding along with Opie's words. 'How is Cameron gonna do it?'

'Hefner's got a Sunday ritual,' said Juice, smiling a little. 'Church with the fat wife, sex with the black girlfriend. She lives in a shitty hood right outside his nice Oakland suburb.'

'And that's where we take him out,' said Chibs. 'Black on white hate crime? Who gives a shit?'

'Who does it?' said Clay.

'I do,' said Opie. He had to get back into the thick of things. 'It's been a while since I suited up, but I can do this. I'm in.'

'Get Cameron to confirm the payoff,' said Clay. 'Ope and Bobby… just the two of you. I don't want any mistakes.'

'All right,' said Opie.

And the meeting was adjourned. Opie knew one thing as he made his way over to Jackie: He had to pull the trigger on this.

'Are you sure you're ready for this?' Jackie asked.

Opie was suiting up, making sure he was ready. His fingers were twitching and the muscles in his arms were jumping, but he knew he had to be ready for this. He looked up to see Jackie standing in front of the dressing table. She was worried and she was expecting an answer from him.

'I can't be half in, half out all the time, Jackie,' said Opie. 'I need to prove that I'm SAMCRO and that I'm not going anywhere.'

'But this makes no sense for you,' said Jackie. 'Killing some guy after he fucks his mistress? You sure about this? 'Cause if this is about money –'

'It's not about money,' said Opie. He stood up and spoke clearly. 'I'm SAMCRO, and they've got to remember that.'

'Who?' asked Jackie.

'The guys,' said Opie. 'The look at me as though I'm dead weight. I have to prove myself and only then will I be accepted back into the table with no question on any of their minds.'

'You don't have to prove anything,' said Jackie softly.

'You don't see their faces,' said Opie, sighing. 'I'm ready for this. I'm gonna get this done.'

He then kissed her cheek and turned away.

'Say goodbye to the boys,' said Jackie, not looking at him.

Opie was standing at the doorway as he turned to look at her. She wasn't looking at him. She was staring intensely at the floor with her arms crossed.

'I'm gonna come bac –'

'Say goodbye to the boys, Harry,' said Jackie.

Opie raised his eyebrows for a moment, a little shocked. She has never said his real name before at all. It was really shocking and Opie was a little stung. She didn't have faint in him to pull this off. She expects him to go back to jail for the next twenty or so years. She doesn't expect him to come back home after today.

Opie walked back to where Jackie was and lifted her chin up. She refused to look at him. His ever stubborn wife. His hand was on her cheek when he gave her a kiss.

'I love you,' said Opie.

Jackie was looking at him as she nodded. 'Yeah, I know.'

Opie smiled and then gave her another kiss. He walked out of the room and into the living room where Abel and John were. John was in his baby carrier, watching TV. He found the colours fascinating, while Abel was drawing a picture. He looked up and smiled at Opie as he approached.

'Are you leaving, Daddy?' Abel asked.

'I'll be back soon,' said Opie. He gave Abel a kiss on top of his head. 'I love you, son.'

'Love you too, Daddy,' said Abel.

Opie did the same to John, lightly touching his dark hair. 'I love you, son.'

John made a high-pitched sound just as Opie walked out the door.

* * *

'His grey Mercedes is in the garage,' said Opie, looking at the apartment complex. He was standing in front of it with Bobby as the stood close together.

'Which apartment?' asked Bobby.

'Unit nine,' said Opie. 'Top floor, third from the right. Cameras cover the garage. We should do this on the upper level.'

'If this guy's got half a brain,' said Bobby, 'he's gonna be cautious and armed. Anyone walks into this, has an eye line, we abort. No risks. You take the front steps, I'll take the back. Second this goes down, run to the car and get the motor running.'

'Okay.'

Opie walked to the top floor and positioned himself as Bobby did the same. He was hiding behind some dead looking plant. Opie leaned on the iron rails. He had to do this. He was getting back in.

Within seconds, the door to number nine opened and an old, balding man walked out. Opie stood up straight and made his way over, and Hefner saw Opie. There was a look of fear on Hefner's old face. He was terrified for his life, and Opie was as well.

He had flashbacks of his life in prison. His four by four. He didn't want to go back there. He couldn't stand it the first time, and he really didn't want to do it again. He didn't want to leave everything behind again. He didn't want to leave his old man, his wife, and his kids. He didn't want to leave Abel or John. The look of fear on Hefner's face mirrored what Opie was feeling inside. He was scared and he froze.

Hefner was about to turn away, as though sensing that Opie wasn't going to hurt him, but Bobby intervened, he had to, and shot Hefner, using his silencer. Four bullets to the stomach and Hefner was down, his back against the wooden door.

'Shit,' whispered Opie.

Bobby and Opie looked at each other for a moment and Opie was the first one to look away. He was ashamed that he couldn't pull it off. This was supposed to be his moment to get back in and Bobby had to do it instead. He was ashamed and he was going to beat himself up for this later.

They make their way back to the car and flee. The car ride was silent and painful.

* * *

_Inside the club, there had to be truth. Our word was our honour. But outside, it was all about deception. Lies were our defense, our default. To survive, you had to master the art of perjury. The lie and the truth had to feel the same. But once you learned that skill, nobody knows the truth in or outside the club; especially you. _

* * *

Opie went back home late at night. He had to take a long ride to clear his head up a little. When he walked through the door, he was greeted by the sight of nothing. The living room was empty and he checked the clock. It was well past midnight.

He made his way over to Abel's room. His son was fast asleep with his fists clutching his stuffed bear. Opie gently brushed Abel's light hair, the same shade as Jackie's, and kissed his forehead. He then made his way over to John's room. His son was wide awake and his blue eyes, the same as Jackie's, met Opie's. John smiled at Opie as he picked him up.

'Still awake, little man?' whispered Opie, carrying John and walking over to the rocking chair. 'Did you give Mommy a hard time? I hope not.'

John smiled as he fisted Opie's beard and gave a big tug.

Opie winced for a moment. 'Nah, just waited for me to come back and give me a hard time. Isn't that right, John?'

John merely smiled as he got settled in Opie's arms. Within a few minutes, and gentle rocking from Opie, John was fast asleep. Opie kissed his forehead and placed him back into his crib.

He then walked into his and Jackie's bedroom to see his wife awake. She was sitting up straight and was worried. When Opie walked in, she let out a big sigh. Her muscles relaxed and she rubbed her eyes.

'You're back,' she whispered. She looked up and smiled at him. 'I'm glad you're back.'

Opie sat on the bed beside her and held her hand. Jackie then brought him closer as their foreheads touched. Opie breathed her in as Jackie kissed him.

As they laid together, Jackie burying her face in his chest, Opie stayed wide awake, replaying the events of the day. He's sure if he did pull the trigger, he wouldn't be here right now with his family. That thought scares him.

He loves the club, he wants to be in, all the way, but he has so much to lose. He has a family to lose.

* * *

There was a loud knock on the door. Opie stirred lazily where he lay. Jackie groaned and buried her face in her pillows as Opie got up. He walked to the front door just as the knocking got louder.

'Calm down, I'm comin',' said Opie, pissed off. Who the hell would be here in the middle of the night?

Another loud knock and Opie opened the door. Standing in front of him made Opie wake the hell up. About a dozen men in suits stood in front of him.

'What the hell is going on?' demanded Opie.

'Harry Winston?' asked the man in front.

'Yeah, who's askin'?'

'We need you to come in with us,' said the man in the suit. 'And your family as well.'

There was some platter of feet coming their way and Jackie stood a few feet away from Opie, scratching her head and yawning. 'Opie, what's going on?'

Opie looked back at the herd in front of him and then at Jackie. Through the small amount of light that was coming through the door, she could sense that something was wrong. She could see it in Opie's face. She made her way over to the door and opened it wider. She looked at the men in suits.

'Who are you?' she asked, her hands on her hips. She was displaying the Gemma in her. 'What are you doing at my house?'

'Jacqueline Teller?' said the man in front. 'We're from the Department of Justice. We need you and your husband to gather up your children and bring them with us. We're bringing you in for questioning. Please do this quickly, I doubt neither one of you want to make a scene in your neighbourhood.'

'De – department of Justice?' repeated Jackie, her voice a little small now. She turned to look at Opie who held her shoulders. 'What are we going to do now, Opie?' she whispered.

Opie looked at her, the suits, and back at her. 'We're gonna listen to them. They're bringing in our kids. Gotta do this quietly or Abel's gonna get confused and hurt by this. I'll get Abel, you get a small bag of clothes and John.'

Jackie looked worried as she looked at him, the suits and then went to go get John. Opie spared the suits another look before walking to Abel's room.

They weren't put in handcuffs as they walked out the door. Jackie carried John in one arm and a small bag in the other. John was sleeping soundly and oblivious to his surroundings. Opie carried Abel, trying to shield him from what was going on. They got into the black sedan. The suits got in their cars and they drove off.

Jackie was quiet as she gently rocked John in her arms. She was staring out the window. Abel was sitting between Jackie and Opie, looking from one to the other. He then looked at Opie, looking a little scared.

'Daddy, where are we going?'

Opie winced. 'I don't know yet, Abel. We'll find out soon.'

Opie brought Abel closer and held him as the car moved forward. He then looked at Jackie and touched her shoulder. She looked at him and then turned back towards the window.

That stung, but he deserves it. It was his fault they were in this mess. He was sure of it. And when they get out of this, if they get out of this, Opie is sure that Jackie is going to take the kids and leave him. The shit he got himself into is weighing down on her as much as it weights down on him. She's suffered enough when he was locked up. She doesn't deserve this. She deserves better than this, better than his fuck ups.

Opie held Abel closer to him and watched Jackie and John. These were their last few moments of peace. He was going to get a clear picture of his family before he lost them for good.

**Not so sure about this chapter... I wanted to show how the club life is affecting his family life and hopefully I did it justice. Tell me what you think. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. **


	5. Family and Brotherhood

**disclaimer: I own nothing. Half of this is in Gemma's POV, and the other is in Tig's. **

Family and Brotherhood

Gemma looks up from her paper work just as Clay walks out of the chapel and into their view sights. Bobby, Tig and Chibs came closer to their President. Piney, Juice and Gemma stayed where they were, preferring to see him from a distance.

'Yeah,' he began. 'No, me too. A'ight. Thanks, Jason.'

'Rosen?' asks Gemma.

'Yeah. Luann's in the clear. Otto – not so much.'

'Why?' Bobby asks. 'What happened?'

Clay lets out a small, dry laugh. 'He shattered Stahl's face.'

Chibs makes a loud noise of shock and happiness while Tig says, 'Oh, I love that man.'

'He was tryin' to prove to the club he wasn't gonna give anything up,' said Clay as he began to walk behind the bar. 'We're clear of the A.T.F, ladies and germs.'

'Yes!' screamed Chibs as all the men in the room laughed and celebrated.

'Well…' said Gemma, having other things on her mind as she got up and walked behind the bar as well, 'now that I have you in a good mood and all, Jackie's house – just some remodeling and shit. You know, for John and Abel. They're growing boys and –'

Clay's smile died when he saw the price. 'Twenty-three hundred bucks? For painting? Shit, I could have the prospect do it for free.'

'I just want the house to be perfect,' said Gemma. 'Money's tight with Jackie and I want the house to be perfect for her and her boys. They're our family, Clay, and –'

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, mumbling incoherent words as Clay conceded. 'Okay, okay, okay. That's why I love you.'

Juice looked up from his computer at the security monitor and put his beer down. 'Clay, cops.' He shut his computer just as the door burst open and the window was smashed.

'Everybody down! Everybody down!'

Everyone was completely shocked by what had happened. Chibs, and Tig stared at the cops dressed heavily in black before raising their hands and dropping to the ground. Piney did the same, though he looked really tired. Juice went down on his knees slowly, but an officer pushed him to the ground while another grabbed Gemma and shoved her to the ground as well.

'Get off her!' yelled Clay, pushing that bastard away. 'Hey! Hey! Hey!'

The cop ended up reversing and shoving Clay to the ground. He kneed Clay's back as they cuffed Bobby. Everyone was being shoved to the ground by the filthy cop's feet and had guns pointed at them. Chibs and Tig grunted as they tried to get up. Gemma looked towards the door, wanting some sort of answer to come and, boy, did she ever get it.

Agent Stahl entered the building.

'Robert Munson,' began the cop that cuffed Bobby, 'you're under arrest for the murder of Brenan Hefner.'

'Who?' asked Bobby, confused.

Gemma knew he was lying. It was obvious, and she really wished he was a better actor than he was a singer.

'You have the right to remain silent,' said the cop. 'Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'I'll call Rosen, Bobby,' said Clay. 'You just sit tight.'

A.T.F. bitch kicks Clay's gut and Gemma wants to rip her hair out.

'Hey, bitch!' Gemma spits at the wake of Stahl and Stahl delivers her own kick to Gemma.

Gemma grunts at the sudden pain and Clay has to be restrained from killing the bitch who dared to hurt his wife.

'Manners, darling,' said Stahl, her voice smug. 'Manners.'

They leave the clubhouse, all the cops with Bobby while the Sons lay on their own floor, one man down and a woman still groaning in pain.

* * *

Gemma cleaned herself up and waited for church to end. She wanted answers as to why Stahl kicked down their doors when they were supposed to be in the clear. She didn't take to kindly when Stahl had the audacity to kick her and her husband. There is a line and Stahl jumped over it.

The doors opened and Piney came out first, followed by Juice and then the others.

'What happened?' Gemma asked at once.

'They got Bobby at Federal Plaza in Stockton,' said Clay. His voice was trying to play it as though everything was okay. He was a sweet man, but he couldn't lie to Gemma when she already knew the truth. 'A.T.F. says they got an eyewitness that saw Bobby kill Hefner.'

'How's that possible?' Gemma asks.

'Don't know,' said Clay, shrugging. 'Juice is gonna get Opie and try to clear this all out. Figure out the truth.'

'I'll go,' Gemma says instantly. 'Stop by, check on the kids and Jackie. Make sure they're all okay.'

'No –'

'I'll go with her,' said Piney. 'Figure out why my boy wasn't here today. Knock some sense into him.'

Clay looked from Piney to Gemma and then sighed. 'Fine. But hurry up. We've gotta figure this shit out and fast. Bobby needs us right now and I don't want him to spend any more time with that A.T.F. gash.'

Within ten minutes, Gemma and Piney headed over to Jackie and Opie's house. Gemma was the first one to get inside, using her spare key. Piney followed her, but a bit slower.

Entering the house, it looked exactly the same as it did the last time Gemma was here. Nothing seemed out of place, though there were a lot more toys out. She saw the stuffed elephant Chibs got for Abel in the corner and smiled, remembering the memory of Abel screaming with delight when he first got it. John's portable crib was there with his beanie lying on the floor. Some of Opie's laundry was beside the couch, as though Jackie was putting off sorting them out. Jackie's easel was in the corner with her current piece of something or another. Gemma could never tell. Her daughter was talented, but not so much in the art department.

The house seemed the same as it always was, but there was a different sense to it. A disturbance that she could sense. Gemma scanned the living room before heading towards the kitchen.

Kitchen was the same as always has been. The counter had a stack of bills and Gemma scanned the covers quickly before something caught her eye. A small business card.

_Agent June Stahl_

_Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms_

'Bitch,' whispered Gemma.

This was bad. This was really bad. Gemma looked at the other rooms and found nothing. No kids, no Jackie. Nothing.

She went outside and found Piney still there, leaning against his bike.

'Anything?' he asked.

Gemma ignored him for a moment and looked to see that Jackie's neighbour, Beth or something, was watering her bushes.

'Hey,' said Gemma, catching the wrinkly thing's attention. 'You're Beth, right? Jackie's neighbour?'

'Yes,' said Beth, looking at Gemma. 'Can I help you?'

'Do you know what happened to them?' asked Gemma, her hands on her hips. 'Seen them around?'

'Not today,' said Beth, shaking her head. 'The cops brought them in with three sedans around two in the morning.'

'What?' said Piney. His voice was loud and hoarse. He was pissed but Gemma didn't have time for him. She was concerned about her family.

'Did they take Opie out in cuffs?' asked Gemma.

'No,' said Beth, shaking her head again. 'He was carrying Abel while Jackie was carrying John and a small bag. Are they in trouble?'

'I don't know,' Gemma gritted out through her clenched jaw. 'Thanks.'

Piney went off somewhere, mumbling all the way, while Gemma headed back to TM, fuming. She parked her car and went to her office, gripping the chair handles tightly. There is no force on earth strong enough from stopping Gemma Teller-Morrow hurting Opie Winston.

But Opie would never do something like that. Charming was in his blood and his DNA set him to be a Son the moment he was born. He was loyalty personified and he was his father's son. Opie would sooner die than rat on the club, on his family. Gemma knew that, that's why she was calmer now, and she hoped Clay knew that as well.

There was a knock on the door and a ghost reappeared on Gemma's footsteps. Ghosts don't come back to Charming, especially when they're Mary Winston.

'Gemma?'

'Mary,' said Gemma, straightening up her spine. 'Jesus Christ. What are you doing here?'

'I was hoping you could tell me,' said Mary, taking a step into Gemma's office. 'Got a call from the feds asking me to pick up my grandkids from the Department of Justice facility in Stockton.'

Gemma's jaws clenched. She didn't like Mary Winston calling Abel and John _her_ grandkids. They weren't Mary's grandkids, they were Gemma's. Mary didn't have the guts to show her face in Charming when Jackie gave birth to Abel or John. She had nothing to do with those kids. Gemma was there all the way. They were _her _kids, _her _grandkids. Not Mary's. She didn't have the privilege to call them that.

'Abel and John are in a facility?' asked Gemma, trying to push those feelings of hurting Mary away.

'Apparently the whole family is,' said Mary. 'Kids are with Jacqueline. Can't get a hold of Piney. Thought you might be able to shed some light on why I'm schlepping my fat ass seventy five miles. What the hell did my kid do this time?'

'I don't know,' said Gemma, shrugging. 'Cops picking the whole family up is all I know. Now, why don't you go back to wherever rock you came from and I'll go pick up _my _grandkids?'

'They're my grandkids as well, Gemma,' said Mary angrily.

'No, they're not,' said Gemma, standing up. 'You're not their grandmother. You don't have the right or the privilege to call them that. You didn't visit Abel when he was fighting for his life or when John was born. You didn't send a note and you sure as hell didn't send a gift for those boys. You are not their grandmother and they are not your grandchildren. Go back to wherever the hell you came from, Mary, and I'll go pick up the boys. Abel loves his grandma, after all.'

Gemma smirked as Mary stomped back to her car and left the lot. She took a long breath and walked to the clubhouse, where she was met with the sight of Clay and Tig. There were scattered glass pieces near the wall and Gemma didn't take long to figure that one out.

'Anything?' asked Clay, turning his attention towards her.

'Feds picked them up in the middle of the night,' said Gemma. 'Neighbours said that he didn't go out in cuffs. Opie was carrying Abel, Jackie was carrying John. They're in Stockton and I'm gonna pick up the kids. Department of Justice told Mary to get them but –'

'Mary?' asked Clay. 'Mary Winston?'

'How many Mary's do you know?' asked Gemma. 'And yeah, they called her to collect the kids. They're locked up somewhere.'

'Be careful,' said Clay, nodding. 'See if you can ask Jackie what the hell is going on.'

'Don't worry,' said Gemma. 'I'll be back soon with the kids.'

* * *

Gemma entered the room the officer opened and closed for her. Jackie was leaning against one of the leather couches while Abel and John were sleeping on those couches. Jackie looked worn out and tired. She was wearing jeans and one of Opie's shirts with her hair up in a ponytail. Her head snapped up the moment the door opened.

'Oh, thank god,' breathed Jackie, hugging Gemma. Gemma held her daughter close and kissed her hair.

'What the hell's been going on?' whispered Gemma, glancing at the kids.

'They think Opie might have been involved in a shooting,' said Jackie, sighing. 'They hung him out to be a rat. They're making sure it looks like Opie did it. He never did. He never turned on the club or made a deal.'

'I know,' said Gemma. 'Opie would never turn.'

'They're trying to scare him into giving up something on the club,' said Jackie. 'They say they have a witness that saw Bobby and Opie, and they tried to give up Witness Protection. Just a bunch of bullshit on how we could start a new life.' Jackie and Gemma snorted. 'I didn't know they called you in.'

'They didn't,' said Gemma. 'Feds called Mary Winston.'

'Mary?' said Jackie, shocked and disgusted. 'Why the hell would they call her? Kids would be better off here locked up than with her.'

'Well, she came to TM, wondering why she was called, but I sent her back,' said Gemma. 'Came here to get the kids.'

Jackie smiled as she went over to the couch and woke Abel up. He was grumpy and rubbed his eyes furiously as Gemma picked John up. Jackie then handed over a small bag to Gemma.

'I have some of their clothes in here,' said Jackie, 'but they're gonna need more and John needs more diapers.'

'I'll stop by the house, get some of their stuff,' said Gemma, rubbing John's back. 'I'll tell Clay everything. Make sure they know the truth.'

'Thanks, Ma,' said Jackie, smiling. 'We should be back by tomorrow morning. I love you.

'Love you too, baby,' said Gemma, kissing her cheek.

'Be good to Grandma, Abel,' Jackie told Abel. He nodded very tiredly, and Gemma took it as a sigh that they had to go.

* * *

Abel and John have a room in her house. They shared the same room.

Abel went to bed quickly, snoring away quietly while it took Gemma a while to put John down. Kid was cute, she couldn't help it.

Abel and John, they both had a special place in Gemma's heart. For the longest time, it was only JT, Jackie and Tommy that had that claim, and then Clay. But Abel and John were different. They were instant and she couldn't imagine people putting these kids in a facility. Gemma's gonna protect them.

There is nothing in the world that would stop her from hurting her family. Nobody's gonna lay another finger on Abel and John ever again.

* * *

_The older I get, the more I realize that age doesn't bring wisdom. It only brings weary. I'm not any smarter than I was thirty years ago. I've just grown too tired to juggle the lies and hide the fears. Self-awareness doesn't reveal my indiscretions; exhaustion does. _

* * *

Jackie and Opie arrived at the clubhouse in the morning after being released. Jackie was smiling at everyone as Opie and Piney hugged. She was wearing a smile that didn't give anything away. It was to ease their minds. Gemma was proud of her daughter.

'Welcome home,' said Gemma, smirking as she hugged Jackie.

Jackie let out a small laugh. 'It's only been a couple hours. Geez.' There was a small pause. 'Thank you.'

'It's good to have you back, sweetheart,' said Clay, holding his arms out.

Jackie hugged him and kissed his cheek. She did the same with Piney and Chibs.

The boys went for church while Gemma and Jackie left the clubhouse.

'How you holding up?' asked Gemma. 'You and Opie good?'

'Yeah,' said Jackie, smiling a little. It was more genuine then the one she gave to Clay and the others. 'Me and Ope are good. Worked some stuff out a little. We're in a good place. Just everything has been exhausting lately. Kids okay?'

'Kids are fine,' said Gemma as they reached Jackie's car. 'They're with Neeta. Abel was a little shit head, but he's fine. He gets that from you.'

Jackie laughed and her laugh reminded Gemma so much of JT. It was music to her ears.

'So what's gonna happen now for your family?' asked Gemma.

'I don't know,' said Jackie, shrugging. 'Thought of taking them up to the cabin, you know. Get some time away from the club and get some peace. I don't want Abel to get hurt by what just happened. Figured we could all get some peace and rest for a couple days. Especially Ope. He's gotta clear his head and spend some time with the boys.'

'I understand,' said Gemma, nodding as she looking Jackie up and down. She's got a new found respect for her daughter. She's got a handle on her shit. 'I'm proud of you. Got your shit together after being interrogated by that bitch. I'm proud of you.'

'Thanks, Ma,' said Jackie, smiling at Gemma. 'I love you.'

'Love you too,' said Gemma. 'Take care of your family. I'll make sure everything's good on this end.'

Jackie nodded as she got in her car and drove off. Gemma stood there for a while before heading back to her office

* * *

Tig waited for Gemma and Jackie to leave the lot. He then checked Opie's truck and the cellphones. He destroyed the trackers. He felt betrayed. Opie turned on them. He ratted. He betrayed the club, he betrayed Clay, his old man, Bobby. He betrayed his old lady and his kids. He betrayed his family and his brothers.

And Tig knew how Opie was going to be dealt with. Opie turned. He had to be dealt with.

'Opie has turned on us. This has got to happen.'

* * *

Tig checked the phones during the next meeting. You can never be too sure, especially when a brother turned.

'We're good,' said Tig, entering church and taking his seat on Clay's right hand, across from Chibs.

'Our retainer with Rosen is good for one more week,' said Clay. 'If this thing with Bobby goes to trial, we're gonna have to pony up some serious up-front cash.'

'We have every dime in the warehouse rebuilt,' said Juice.

'I know,' said Clay, sighing. 'I talked to Alvarez. The Mayans want guns. They want them right away.'

'We've got nothing to sell,' said Chibs. 'Irish don't start shippin' 'til next month.'

'We pull our security surplus,' said Clay. 'We sell 'em those.'

'I thought we didn't sell that surplus,' said Chibs.

Clay looked tired and a little annoyed. 'We see 'em those guns. It's a goodwill gesture. The Mayans turn around, place a big order. They give us half the cash in advance.'

'It give us nothing to protect the club,' said Opie.

'I'm out of ideas here,' said Clay. 'If we don't jump on this deal, we lose it. I'm just trying to help Bobby here.'

'A.T.F. are still camped out at Unser's office,' said Juice. 'There's a risk with this deal.'

'We can do this smart,' said Clay. 'We set up two locations in Oakland, right? We pick up the money from one. We drop off the guns at the other. This way, even if the feds are watching us, they never see guns for money.'

'Why would the feds still be trailing us?' asked Opie.

'Maybe they're pissed off 'cause you didn't turn,' said Clay. 'You and Tig pick up the money. Me and Chibs drop off the guns.'

'I'll go with Ope and Tig,' said Piney.

'Nah, nah, nah,' said Clay, shaking his head and irritated. 'The fewer the better. Why don't you just go up to the warehouse, let me know how that's going.'

'That's just some bullshit errand,' said Piney, sounding really pissed off. 'I got stuff to do.' He slammed the door at his wake.

Tig was barely listening to what was going on. He caught some of it, and it most important part. He was going to be with Opie and it was going to happen soon.

* * *

Tig didn't get it. He was standing a few feet away from Clay and Laroy. He would support his President through anything, but he didn't understand the point of this meeting. The moment Clay was done, Tig had to ask.

'Hey, look, man,' began Tig as they walked towards their cage, 'I understand the need to make an executive decision for the good of the club. I get it. The Opie thing makes sense to me. But this – we have made a club-wide peace with the Mayans. We can't –'

'The Peace stays intact,' said Clay, slowing Tig down. 'The Mayans are gonna think that the Niners got their intel off the streets, stepped on the deal, and all we got to do it spin the angry black man story. Play them against each other.'

'I like it,' said Tig, impressed. 'So how do we handle our other problem?'

'Just before the Niners jump in, put a bullet in the back of Opie's head. This way, even if A.T.F. crashes the party, there's no illegal guns. Opie looks like the victim of gangland violence.'

'And we blame the angry black man.'

'It's the American way.'

* * *

Tig knew he had to kill Opie. It was inevitable. It had to happen. He betrayed the club, and he had to do it. But sitting in the truck next to Opie right now was uneasy. Opie was his brother. They wear the same kutte and sit beside each other at the table. Every kill before was always different. They were never brothers.

Though he knew he had to do it. It was going to be hard and difficult. He was taking away Abel and John's father, and he was going to make Jackie a widow.

But he had to go through with it. Father or not, he betrayed the club.

'Hey,' said Opie, snapping Tig out of his thoughts. 'Let me borrow your cell. I got to check in with Jackie and the kids.'

'Here,' said Tig, handing Opie his phone.

'Thanks,' said Opie, punching in the numbers. 'Found mine in a pitcher of beer. You know anything about that?'

'Maybe it was thirsty,' said Tig.

'Do you ever see your kids?' asked Opie.

'Once or twice a year,' said Tig. If he was lucky enough. Dawn always drifted from one place to another, staying only for a day, tops. And Fawn, well, she hated his guts.

'Not hard for you?'

'Used to be,' said Tig. It still was, whenever he thought about it.

'It was two girls, right?' asked Opie.

'Dawn and Fawn,' said Tig. Opie gave him a side glance. 'Yeah, I know.'

'That's her voicemail,' said Opie, closing the phone. 'Thanks again.'

They arrived at the warehouse and got out. Tig went through the door first and was met with dolls. Dolls. Dolls everywhere. They were all staring at him with those eyes. Opie walked passed him to check their surroundings. He looked back at Tig.

'What?' he asked.

'I hate dolls, man,' said Tig, looking around at those things. 'They creep me out.'

'Back here,' said one of the Mayans.

Tig took another look at those goddamn dolls before following Opie to where the Mayans were. He was barely listening in on the meeting. Opie was doing most of the talking. Tig was working out in his mind when he had to do it. When he had to pull the trigger, he was going to do it from the back, he knew that for sure. He wouldn't be able to look Opie in the eye and do it. He couldn't see Abel or John when he pulled the trigger.

Few minutes after the meeting started, the door to the warehouse opened and there were gunshots. Everybody took cover. Tig hid low while the Mayans spread out. Opie was the only one the stood up and shot back. After a couple shots, Opie disappeared. Tig didn't see where he went.

Tig was a little scared and nervous. He was alone in this situation. Whoever the fuck was opening fire on them spread out and bullets were flying everywhere. Mayans spread out and some were dropping. The remaining ones wouldn't help him. They wouldn't take a bullet for him. Nobody was going to help him.

He tried to see if he could get away, so he started to crawl.

'You dead.'

Someone was walking towards him, gun in hand, with a purpose, but there was a shot and that boy went down. Tig could feel his heart beating faster as Opie shot that boy again for good measure.

'Shit,' whispered Tig, getting up. 'Thanks, man.'

Gunfire continued all around them.

Opie looked around the corner to check if the coast was clear and Tig aimed his gun, his finger on the trigger.

But Opie came back for him. He protected Tig and saved his life. At the end of the day, Opie is Tig's brother. He was Tig's family. Tig couldn't pull the trigger. The gun felt heavy in his hand for the first time in a really long time. He couldn't do it. Not like this. Tig put the gun down just as Opie turned around.

'Let's go.'

They left the warehouse, got into Opie's truck and got the hell out of there.

* * *

Tig, Clay, Opie and Chibs gathered around. Tig and Opie told their side of the story while Clay reencountered what happened on their end.

'Was this a mistake,' began Opie, 'or was Laroy sending a message?'

'I don't know,' said Clay, shrugging.

'Niners want us dead,' said Chibs. 'Mayans don't trust us. We're losin' our customer base and gainin' two huge beefs.'

'Broke with no guns,' said Opie.

Clay sighed and shook his head. 'There's no point talking about it now. What's done is done. Tired of getting attack in one day. We'll deal with this another day. Go home.'

Chibs and Opie left, tired and irritated. Chibs on his bike, Opie in his truck. Tig stayed back with Clay as he sat down at the picnic table.

'What the hell was that, man?' asked Tig the moment the coast was clear.

'It was like the angry black man was even angrier than we thought, huh?' said Clay. 'Laroy definitely double-crossed us. And Ope?'

Tig couldn't look his President in the eye for a moment. He glanced at the ground for a moment before looking up. He wasn't looking at Clay, but at their surroundings.

'Nah, I couldn't. Couldn't get a clear shot.'

Tig couldn't see Clay's eye through those dark glasses.

'Well, if – if the Niners are that pissed, maybe – maybe they bring their rage to Charming,' said Clay. 'I mean, they saw Opie's truck at the money drop.'

Tig blinked and then sat down beside Clay and close. 'What, a drive-by?'

'Got to be tonight,' said Clay. 'Family's up at the cabin. Ope'll probably need to leave the house, get some dinner or somethin' for the family. Kitchen doesn't work up there. Stay hidden. Make it ghetto. Make it gangster.'

'All right,' said Tig.

Clay stood up and left while Tig watched him. _Tonight_.

* * *

Tig kept an eye on the clock. He was driving the black SUV close to the cabin, but still a good distance so that he wouldn't attract any unwanted attention. He got out of the car and walked the distance to the cabin. He had to make sure Opie was still there, if not, there was no point in this. It was dark outside and the car blended in with the scenery. Car would be safe.

Tig walked quickly and quietly. He hid behind bushes and watched through the lit windows. Curtains were open and Tig could see them. Opie was rocking John while Jackie was helping Abel colour something. Tig's lips pursued into a thin line and he turned his eyesight away. Opie's truck was here, as well as Jackie's car. Tig looked back at the window. Opie and Jackie shared a kiss.

He turned away and walked back to the SUV. He sat there, waiting for the right moment. He would wait here all night if he had to.

He wasn't sure how long he had waited for. Could have been hours for all he knew or a few minutes. He lost track of time just thinking about everything in his mind. Replaying everything in his head over and over again.

Car lights coming from the cabin snapped him out of it. Opie's car came out from the driveway. Tig hid down low until the car light passed. He started up the car and followed the car.

Couple streets over, the car stopped at the red light and Tig did the same, putting a good distance between their cars. He took out his gun. It didn't feel so heavy this time. He pulled out to the side and aimed. Without any other thought invading his mind, he pulled the trigger.

Bullets broke the glass and Tig pulled beside the car, looking through the window. He didn't see anyone in there and he didn't have time to go check. A dog was barking and a witness was there. Tig got out of there as quickly as he could. He dropped the car off somewhere in a dark alley where his bike was, along with his kutte and phone.

Tig put his kutte on first and looked at his phone. There was one missing call from Clay. He called Clay back.

'Tig,' Clay said immediately after the first ring. 'Did you do it already?'

'Yeah, I just did it,' said Tig, trying to sound as though everything was okay. He rubbed his forehead and his eyes. 'What's the problem, man?'

'The witness wasn't Opie,' said Clay. Tig could feel his heart fall to his stomach. 'It was somebody that lives in the building where Hefner got killed. That's who fingered Bobby. A.T.F. hung Ope as a rat and the wires weren't to his knowledge – What, Gemma?'

Tig couldn't hear anything else on the other end of the line. He couldn't hear what Gemma was saying to Clay. All he heard in the end was, '_Shit_,' and then a dead line.

**Thank you for reading. Hope I did Gemma and Tig justice. Tell me what you think, or what happened in the truck. I'd love to hear from you all. **


	6. To Be Alive

**disclaimer: I own nothing. **

To Be Alive

Jacqueline Teller is many things. She is quiet and she's loud. She was serious and fun to be around. She was sensitive to many people and cold to others. She hated people with a passion and loved with all her heart. She was elegant and she was clumsy all the time. She was many things, but nobody ever considered her stupid. No, she wasn't because she was taught better. She learned from the best.

There was no proper food in the cabin, they didn't go shopping before this so Jackie decided to go get some pizza. Opie, of course, insisted that he should be the one to do it, but Jackie had none of the gallant ways. So she gave him a kiss and stole the keys to his truck from his hands. It was too easy, honestly.

She saw the black SUV trailing her from a mile away. She first taught that maybe they were just heading in the same direction, so Jackie tested them out. They made the same turns she did, exactly as she did.

Jackie's heart was racing. She took deep breaths and drove down the street, pretending as though nothing was wrong. This could either be an enemy wanting to hurt her or a friend looking out for her. There was one way to find out. She was going to call Opie.

Jackie stopped at the red light and she kept an eye on the SUV as they came closer. Her heart skipped a beat when the car stopped for a moment before rolling again and the windows came down. She didn't have to think about what she was going to do next, it was instincts.

She ducked down in the car just as bullets broke against the glass. She bit down against her hands to keep herself from crying out. There was a dog barking, she was surrounded with glass and the car drove away quickly.

* * *

She wondered how her life turned out like this. Was this the way things will always be? Has it always been this way? It can't be… Then Jackie remembered staying in the clubhouse many nights due to wars between every MC with the Sons. Gemma always lied to her, saying that it was always nice to stay in the clubhouse, close to family. Jackie knew better.

It wasn't long before she heard the blaring of the sirens. She slowly lifted her head from the truck and looked out the windshield. Three, maybe four, cop cars pulled in front of the truck with an ambulance. The first person she saw was Hale, getting out of his car. Everyone else secured the area, Hale came towards the car, towards her.

She opened the door quickly as he got close.

'Jesus Christ, Jackie, are you okay?' asked Hale. He sounded out of breath and worried about her. Funny, she always taught he didn't like her.

Jackie gave him a small nod. In a blur, she was out of the car and sitting on the ambulance truck. They wrapped a blanket around her and checked for cuts or wounds. She hated their shaky hands and how they couldn't quite look her in the eyes. Tara and Chibs were better than these clowns. She had a small cut on her right eyebrow, but nothing too bad. The cops were taking pictures and looking for any evidence they could find.

Then, to her relief, she heard motorcycles coming her way. Two. And there was no sweeter sound in the world than those bikes – Clay and Chibs. Gemma followed them closely behind in her car and got out quickly, looking as though the devil himself possessed her, and headed in the direction of Jackie.

Jackie was happy to see her. She never doubted her love for Gemma, but she was hard to love sometimes. Jackie got out of the ambulance and walked towards her mother, ignoring the small protests of the idiots stitching her up. As though _they_ would know what was best for her.

Gemma hugged her close and hugged her tightly. Jackie did the same.

'Oh, oh my… Jackie,' Gemma whispered as she kissed Jackie's hair and her temple and whatever part she was reach at the moment. 'Are you okay? Who did this to you? Your face…'

'It's nothing, Ma,' Jackie said quietly.

'Who did this to ya, las?' Chibs asked, standing beside Gemma now. He stood tall. His voice was hard and there was no trace of a smile on him. Right now, he wasn't Chibs, the uncle that would come over to make Abel laugh or the one that would praise John's baby strength. Right now, he's Chibs Telford, VP of the Sons of Anarchy's Redwood Original charter, and he looked ready to spill some blood. Clay stood a little off and did not speak. He looked as though he was incapable of speech.

'I… I don't know,' said Jackie. She sounded timid and weak. Somebody should slap her. She locked her shoulder blades and said, her voice low, 'I didn't get a good look on their face, but they were driving a black SUV. That's all I know, Chibs.'

Chibs nodded his head and then hugged her. 'Just as long as you're alright.' His voice as softer now. He then kissed her cheek and let go.

'Jackie! Jackie! JACKIE!'

Another car pulled up by the scene of the crime with two more bikes following. Opie got out of the car and shouted her name with Juice and Tig behind him.

'JACKIE!'

'Ope!'

Jackie ran to him and he met her halfway. He held her close and didn't seem as though he wanted to let go of her at all. He kissed her hair, her temple, her cheeks and her mouth.

'Oh, baby,' whispered Opie.

Jackie cried as he held her, though she rarely did every cry. But he was Opie and Abel and John and she doesn't know what she would ever do without her family, without her boys.

'The boys?' Jackie asked. 'Where are the boys?'

'They're in the cabin with Piney and Bobby,' said Opie as he continued to hold her and brush his hands through her hair. 'I thought I lost you.'

Jackie pressed her face against his neck. 'Can't get rid of me that easily,' she whispered. Someone would have to really do a number on her to take her away from her boys. 'Ope, get me out of here.'

Jackie saw Stahl behind her, shocked, and she saw Stahl whispered something to her.

* * *

They were back in their house the next day. She couldn't stand to be in the cabin anymore. She felt isolated and cornered. The woods did not help ease her mind. It felt as though someone was constantly watching her, watching her boys. Some stranger looking at her sons. She had to get away from the cabin.

Abel and John were both fast asleep in their rooms. Opie was outside having his fourth cigarette while Jackie was in the kitchen, trying her best to keep her mind off yesterday – but she was failing.

Someone was trying to kill her. And for what? Niner retaliation? She was just an old lady…

Jackie slammed a plate on the counter, breaking it and cutting her hand in the process. _No._ She wasn't just an old lady. She was a fucking Teller through and through. She was – _no, _she is John Teller's daughter, she is Gemma's daughter, and she will be damned if some coward was going to get the best from her.

Jackie looked at the blood on her hands and cursed. She didn't need this now. She picked up the phone and dialed Tara's number.

'How fast can you get to my house?' Jackie asked.

'Ten minutes,' said Tara, confused. 'Maybe less. Why?'

'Bring a first aid kit, will yea?' said Jackie. And with that, she hung up her phone, no bothered to wait for a reply.

Tara made the drive in seven. Jackie kept her eyes on the clock. Opie was still outside, just staring off into the grass, deep in thought when Tara arrived. She took one look at the cut and immediately started working on it.

'What happened?' asked Tara.

'Smashed a plate,' said Jackie, sighing. 'Just pissed.'

'What happened?'

'Someone tried to kill me last night,' Jackie said softly.

Tara stopped working for a moment and looked at her. She was clearly shocked and looked outside at Opie. 'Is that why Opie's out there, just staring?'

'Yeah,' said Jackie. 'Someone tried to kill me, and they're going to be fucking sorry.'

Her bloody hands clenched as Tara stopped stitching half way through.

'Sorry,' Jackie said quietly as she undid her hand. 'Just been hard to process. What about you, you okay?'

Tara shook her head. 'Haven't been to the house much. I've just been driving around, trying to distract myself. But nothing's worked.' She paused for a moment, cleaning up the blood, and whispered, 'What did you do with him? His body?'

Jackie shook her head. 'It doesn't matter, Tara. That situation was going to happen in two ways: either him dead or you dead. Did you want it ending up the other way?'

'No – I don't know,' admitted Tara. 'What gives us the right to make that call?'

'Survival,' said Jackie simply. 'You did what you had to do. You may not know it now, but you will later. Either we kill him or he would have destroyed you and taken everything away from you.'

'Yeah, maybe I came back to Charming knowing the same thing,' Tara said quietly. 'That I was safer here than in Chicago. Years of wanting to leave this town, and I'm here again because the outside world is too big and scary for little Tara.' She let out a snort and shook her head. She was not humorous. 'So now what, you make up your own moral code for this? Try to make sense of it all? Justify it.'

'I have never killed anyone before, Tara,' Jackie shook her head. 'I don't think anything can shock me anymore. I may not have killed anyone, but the things I have seen, the things I have done, the things that have been done to me – it's just one bullshit after another. I got used to it, and that scares me more than anything.' Jackie took in a deep breath. 'You're got to go home soon, doc. You can't let that piece of shit get to you and drive you out of your own home. This feeling you have, it won't last forever. I promise you that.'

'Doesn't feel like it,' said Tara, finishing up.

She packed her tools and cleaned up quickly, rinsing her hands in the sink. Their glass door slid open.

'Tara.'

'Opie,' said Tara, looking up at him. 'Jackie, you want some coffee or tea?'

'Coffee,' replied Jackie.

'Opie?'

'Nothing, thanks.'

Opie took a seat next to her and gestured towards her hand. 'Hurt yourself?'

'Smashed a plate,' said Jackie. 'What are you going to do about the retaliation?'

Opie sighed and looked at Tara, who had her backs to them. 'Talk with the club, come up with a plan. Go from there.'

Jackie nodded. 'You better get going. Don't want to be late for church.'

She watched him put on his kutte and walk out the door. She hated that this was part of her life. Her watching him leave. It just feels as though it should be the other way around. She was more suited for this life than him. He had a gentle heart, a conscious. She can turn that all off within seconds.

* * *

'All clear,' said Chibs as they sat around their table.

Opie stared at the reaper for a moment and lit up another cigarette.

'How is she?' Clay asked him.

Opie blew out some smoke. 'I don't know.' _She's quiet. She won't talk to me_.

'How do you think she is?' asked Piney, but not just to him, to everybody. He's pissed, that's for sure. 'Someone tried to kill her, and what, you think she's going to be fine with that shit?'

Clay locked his jaws and grinded his teeth. He then sighed and leaned forward. 'I got to take responsibility for this. I was the one who pushed for that deal with the Mayans. I knew that there was going to be some Niner blowback, but I never thought it would reach this far, go this way. Jackie's my daughter, for Christ's sake.'

'We all voted yes on that Mayan deal,' said Chibs. 'Nobody's seen this coming.'

'That's right,' agreed Tig.

'Yeah, but it happened,' snapped Piney, 'so how do we handle it?'

'The Niners are going to be dealt with,' said Clay. 'But right now, let's just walk through this, and be there for Jackie and the kids. They almost lost a mother last night.'

'No,' said Opie. 'We settle this now. I almost Jackie last night, and we don't know if they're going to come back and finish the job.'

'We track down Laroy,' said Piney, 'and we put a bullet in his head.'

Clay then looked at Opie and Piney didn't seem to like it.

'I'm talking to you,' he said toughly.

'Dad, I get it, alright, I do,' said Opie. 'You're hurt that someone would come after your family, but we should trust Clay on this.'

Clay gave him a nod. 'We've got charters that got wind of this. Tacoma, Lincoln, Indian Hills, Vegas, Salt Lake, Nomads. I want to find out who did this just as much as you do, brother, and I want to fill their thick skulls with bullets, for even thinking that they can hurt my family. But we want to be smart and we want to be careful. We've got to think clearly on this.'

'Don't tell me what to think,' said Piney.

He then got up and slammed the door behind him. Opie closed his eyes for a moment before getting up as well.

'I got this,' he said.

Opie met his father outside, already on his bike, fixing his helmet.

'Nobody wants to even the score, as much as me,' he told Piney. 'But it's like Clay said, we've got to be smart about this.'

Piney glared at him. 'Yeah, got it, son.' He started his bike and soon rolled out of the lot.

Opie clenched his hands and told Half-Sack to keep an eye out for him. He leaned against his bike, trying to keep his head wrapped around this whole thing. He almost lost Jackie. Abel and John almost lost their mother. Piney's thinking that he betrayed him or something. And charters were coming down for retaliation.

Opie walked back inside the clubhouse and saw everyone already coming out of the chapel. They looked solemn and Clay walked towards him.

'I want revenge just as much as you, Ope,' he said quietly, squeezing Opie's right shoulder. 'I don't have my own kid, none with my blood, but Jackie… she's my family, brother, and I want us to be smart about this. Get the right guys and not do anymore damage to Charming.'

'I get that, Clay,' said Opie, nodding. 'But I'm telling you, I'm gonna pull the trigger on this.' _And I'm not going to hesitate_.

* * *

ATF was going to present their witness for Hefner's murder and bring him in for a lineup. The witness was in lockdown and he might not get to go home after this one.

'The whole case against Bobby and you is that witness,' said Clay in the empty garage. 'Without him, they got nothing.'

'So we gotta get to him,' said Tig.

'Kill him?' asked Juice.

'He's a rat,' said Tig. He then looked at Opie. 'Rats deserve to die. End of story.'

Opie nodded. 'Witness is in a safe house. Twenty-four hour protection. It's a dead end.'

He was accepting his fate as it came. Jackie and the boys deserved someone better than him. They deserve a father and a husband that was not a coward. Someone with a fucking spine. Maybe if he went back, Jackie will find someone else better than him. Someone who can actually take care of her.

'You're not going back to prison,' said Clay. 'And what will happen to Jackie? Your kids?'

'And let's not forget Bobby,' said Tig. 'He got I.D.'d 'cause he had to clean up after your mistake.'

Opie clenched his fist. 'You got a problem with me, Tig?'

'Yeah, I got a problem,' spat Tig. 'If you had just done what you were supposed to, none of this would have happened. Bobby would be here right now and no one would have gone after Jackie. You're just lucky we're not burying her tomorrow –'

'Enough!' shouted Clay. 'What's done is done, get over it, Tig. And stop acting like a sour face bitch, will yea? The safe house is probably in San Joaquin. I'll call Trammel, see if he can help. Juice, call Happy. I'm sure one of his smiley face tats is for a dead witness.'

'I'm on it,' said Juice.

'Ope,' said Clay, jerking his head off to the side. The others left the garage. 'About Tig…'

'Don't make excuses for him, Clay.'

Clay smiled at him. 'I wasn't going to. Look, I don't like the way he handled it, but he does have a point. You've gotta be the one to fix this, Ope. For Bobby. And then we can think about retaliation for Jackie.'

Opie nodded as he phone rang. 'Yeah?'

'Opie, hey, man,' came Half-Sack's voice. 'I got, like, a serious problem here. I followed Piney into Oakland.'

'What the hell is he doing in Oakland?'

Clay did not seem happy with this.

'It looks like he's going into a bar. But there are Niner tags everywhere.'

'For fuck's safe,' said Opie, pinching his nose. 'He went looking for Laroy. Where are you?'

'Thirty-eighth and Alledale.'

'All right, watch his back, I'm on my way.'

He then closed his phone and grabbed Chibs. His father made things worse than it already was. They had to be smart about this, and Piney was being a fucking pain.

* * *

They're in Oswald's farm and it's a beautiful day. Clay's enjoying a nice cigar and Tig's admiring the horse.

'Can I tell you something?' Tig asked.

'Well, if it involves you and a horse,' said Clay, 'I'd rather not hear it.'

'Yesterday – yesterday at the warehouse, Opie, he, uh… he saved me from getting my head blown off. And then, I, uh – I had a clear shot at him… and I couldn't take it. You know? Shooting through the back of that window truck? I was afraid. I was afraid if I saw his face, I couldn't pull the trigger. I didn't know, Clay, that it was Jackie until you called me.'

Clay sighed and stood up. He brought Tig close to him, embraced him. 'I depend on you so much for that shit, sometimes I forget the weight of it. This thing with Ope, all the means is you got love for your brothers. And Jackie, she survived and she's with her boys. It was some awful shit and we're gonna get past this.'

* * *

It was hard staying in the house all day. The walls felt as though they were screaming at her, closing in on her. She had to go out and do something. Tara agreed to watch the boys for a while. She too was looking for some sort of distraction. The boys were perfect for that.

Jackie got in her car and drove around for a while, thinking, and then she headed towards the police station. The boys will surely want to even the score, but this was her life that they tried to take her away from, and she was going to control it herself.

Jackie walked into the station and headed straight for Unser.

'Hey, Wayne. Got any leads?'

Unser sighed. 'Nowhere.' He then walked away, as though trying to avoid her.

'Nothing?' she asked, walking closer to him. 'Leads? Suspicions?'

Unser looked at her and said, 'No. Sorry.'

He walked away and she was sure he was hiding something from her. He either didn't want to tell her in fear of her going after them or because the club told him not to. Either way, either possibility, it was complete bullshit. She could take care of herself and she deserved to know.

'Come with me,' whispered Hale.

She looked up at him and followed. He led her to a cell room. She had spent some time here for some petty shit, mostly alcohol and public indecency. It was odd to have Hale in here with her.

'Give us some privacy,' said Hale, taking a seat on the bench.

'For what?' asked Jackie, leaning against the wall. 'I ain't gonna blow you, Hale.'

Hale ignored her. 'I know that you and Opie are close. The three of us, we've known each other since we were kids. Not many of us knew what the club meant to the town, but we knew enough to understand where you and Opie were going. Him as the President and you by his side.'

Jackie rolled her eyes. 'What's your point, Hale?'

Hale took a deep breath. 'I knew Stahl was trying to set Opie up as a rat. She wired his truck and… Clay found that wire, thought Opie was working with the feds and tried to have him killed. Coming after you was a mistake.'

Jackie took a deep breath, trying to process this. _Clay_? _Stahl_? 'Why… why the fuck are you telling me this? You think I'll give up Clay or something? I don't know any club business.'

Hale got up and walked closer to her. 'The two of us, after high school, we went our separate ways. We never liked each other that much. You're far from innocent, Jacqueline, but I never once wanted to see someone gun you down. And your kids, Abel and John, they almost lost their mother. That sort of thing, whether you're a cop or outlaw, that just doesn't sit well with anyone. It shouldn't.'

Jackie rubbed her right cheek for a moment. 'Stahl made Opie out to be a rat. She made Clay believe that Opie was the witness that fingered Bobby. Her mistake. She set him up and I'm the one who almost got killed for it. She's going to charge whatever she can to make me a widow. She tried to mess with my family and the club.'

'What are you going to do, Jackie?'

Jackie flashed him a smile. 'I'm going to be a good wife, David.'

She leaves the station with this new information. She considers telling Opie, let him deal with Stahl and the club, but she ends up driving to the clubhouse. She tells Gemma that she wants to talk to Clay and sits inside the chapel.

She stares at the Reaper and remembers being young and sneaking off into this room. Her fingers lingers on the cool surface of the table. It sends shivers down her spine and when she reaches the head of the table, she takes a seat. She takes the gavel and rolls it in her hands, and twirls it in between her fingers. In another world, this would have been passed down to her as a right.

She's not weak, she's not pure, she's not innocent. She's the perfect prince, except she's not. She's aching to prove her worth, for others to see her as she truly is. A firecracker, a spark waiting to consume and devour.

Jackie remembers being five and feeling powerful with one acting of sitting in the very same seat. This seat should have been hers. She always resented herself for being an Old Lady, looking out for her husband, staying behind to take care of her boys. But now, now she sees the advantage.

Old Ladies can make or break a club, and she's got the secret that will take down the whole empire.

**Thank you for reading. Tell me what you guys think. I'm trying to show the hunger in Jackie and how she wants more from life than to just be Opie's wife and John/Gemma's daughter. And I'm trying to show Jackie and Clay's relationship through the eyes of Opie, and there will be more on that relationship in the next chapter as they speak. **


End file.
